What a smart husband!

It has been amazing to see how Ross and I have grown as individuals through nearly 5 years of marriage. Neither of us are perfect, but we have certainly accomplished a lot and have become much better people in that time span. It has taken counseling, prayer, and patience; but that has paid off 100x over.

I always used to be the patient calm one, while Ross tends to be more of a...um, firecracker? (for lack of better words). During this pregnancy, he has really grown to be a good support for his crazy hormonal wife. As I mentioned before, I have already begun "nesting". I used to be much more relaxed but I am becoming very strict on the cleanliness of the house amd obsessing about "clutter". I am convinced everything needs to be put into some kind of container, and Ross thinks I am going nuts.

This morning I wanted to make apple streudel to use up some apples before we go to Hawaii. As I started peeling and slicing the apples, I saw a big black ant run across our kitchen counter near our sink. I eventually saw about 4 more. Because of my bug anxiety I put my baking on hold and did a major cleaning of the sink, counters, dishes, etc; massacring a couple more ants on the way. I then washed up and continued with baking. I neglected to realized (after I started make it) that 1) we had no brown sugar and 2)i only had one up of flower but I needed 2. This is about when I lost it. Ross came to the rescue and gave me a big hug, saying "Come on now, lets lower that blood pressure". Then he was very thrifty; suggesting we mix white sugar with the molasses flavored syrup we had. I looked it up and it was in my cookbook's "emergency substitutions". He then put Nine Inch Nails on the sound system so I could listen to rage filled music to go along with my current mood.

I'm sure you feel very sorry for my husband now, but I promise I'm not like that all the time. I am recognising my, "psycho-ness" and trying to tame it as much as I can.

More Blessings

21 weeks pregnant: I'm enjoying every minute. Several times during the day, Madelyn (yes the spelling changed, per Ross) kicks up a storm. Sometimes when I'm at work sitting and charting, it startles me so much that I jump a little. When I am laying down at home it is instant happiness for me. Even Ross gets to feel her kick from time to time. I am so happy and feel so blessed to have a healthy little kicker. As I thought, my OB does not think my placenta will pose any danger in the pregnancy or delivery. He will probably check it again later in the pregnancy, but he felt it wasn't in the danger zone.

Ross had a phone intervew yesterday that went very well; in fact he has a second interview next Tuesday! Keep those prayers coming; we are really excited about this! And for my own selfish reasons, I am dreaming of the joys of not being responsible for financially supporting our family once our baby arrives. As for more important reasons, I think Ross is really excited about this job possibility and that it will suit him well. We will see.

Work is going well. I love my job more and more every day and am so glad to be working there. I am a little overwhelmed as I prepare for Madelyn's arrival, as well as adjusting to my already changing life. My home has become much more of a priority lately. #1) I am really sensetive to smells, so I cannot deal with any odors and am cleaning much more frequently. Reason #2) I am completing as many projects as I can to improve the appearance. I don't want our home and yard to look like trash once I am sleep deprived and unable to be as ambitious as I am now, and #3) In approximately 4 months, there will be a baby living here, and she needs "stuff". I have never even babysat before, so I have been starting from scratch.

What my body is doing: I looked down in disgust at about 10 pairs of jeans in my closet that do not even come close to fitting. This is not a vanity thing, I am NOT upset that my body is changing. It is just discouraging when you want to wear an outfit with jeans but can't because both of the 2 pairs that fit are in the laundry. I know, boo hoo. I had to buy another new bra and you would not believe what size I am even if I told you! This is one side effect I will be sad about losing. Other than those, the rest of me is pretty much the same. The nasty breakouts are getting better with my mixure of Aveeno, tea tree oil, and Frankincense oil. My love handles and belly itch all the time from my skin being stretched. My feet get swollen by the end of the day and putting my feet up is my new favorite activity. I eat watermelon like there's no tomorrow. My nails have never been so healthy! I just feel really good. Everyone says this is the golden stage of pregnancy. As long as Maddy and I stay healthy I guess I don't have too much to complain about!

Its a Girl! Little Madeline!

19 weeks:
I had a 2nd trimester ultrasound on Monday. What an experience! I made sure to not touch a drop of caffiene or a speck of sugar that day, after how crazy the little baby was at my 15 week ultrasound. That definitly helped a little bit, but our little daughter was still kicking. She yawned about 6 times during the photo shoot, that we could see. It was pretty cute, I must say! She was being modest and hiding her booty behind my belly button (which apparently casts a shadow) but our ultrasound tech was able to give us a pretty good determination that she's a girl. Which lines up with Dr. Tan's [most recent] guess, so a girl it is. At the end the tech turned on the 3D image which is just amazing. I got to see my little girl's face, ears, eyelids, nose, mouth, everything. She was grasping the umbilical cord like a security blanket, yawning, turning, and sucking her thumb. I've never seen anything so cute. I am starting to really love this little girl! I know it seems like a no duh thing to love your baby growing inside you, but everyone knows there is a different kind of love when you actually see and interact with someone. Sure, this may just be pictures and nothing like when she comes out into the world, but I am definitly experiencing a new love I haven't felt before. I actually feel like my world would crash if anything happened to her, and I would do ANYTHING to protect her if she were in trouble. It's very intense and I have had a very emotional few days as I have come to realize this.

Last night I had a little [hormonal induced?] breakdown as I tried to figure out what carseat, stroller, and diapers to use for Madeline. Ross hugged me and reminded me that she could sleep in a wicker basket, just as long as she had her parents to take care of her. There was a heck of a lot of wisdom in that. I'm glad Ross is patient with me and supportive. He is thrilled to have a daughter, and I know they will have such a special bond.

Another example of my no-help worrying: My ultrasound revealed a low lying placenta- only about 1cm from my cervix. The tech said this usually corrects itself as the uterous grows onward and upward. Madeline appeared healthy and everything seems fine other than that. Chances are, IT WILL BE FINE. But what do I do? I go and research the topic and read about emergency c-sections, placenta previa, and premature births due to complications. NO No NO. I will find out more from my OB on Friday. Until then, please keep us in your prayers.

I will sign off with a picture of my beautiful daughter. I know, I know 3D image ultrasounds can be scarey- especially at only 19 weeks. But here is the picture that made me really fall in love. It may be hard to see, but she's clutching the umbilical cord up by her mouth. By the way, we have a video that the tech burned us of the ultrasound, and from the side, I think Madeline has my nose. Poor girl :)