Its a Girl! Little Madeline!

19 weeks:
I had a 2nd trimester ultrasound on Monday. What an experience! I made sure to not touch a drop of caffiene or a speck of sugar that day, after how crazy the little baby was at my 15 week ultrasound. That definitly helped a little bit, but our little daughter was still kicking. She yawned about 6 times during the photo shoot, that we could see. It was pretty cute, I must say! She was being modest and hiding her booty behind my belly button (which apparently casts a shadow) but our ultrasound tech was able to give us a pretty good determination that she's a girl. Which lines up with Dr. Tan's [most recent] guess, so a girl it is. At the end the tech turned on the 3D image which is just amazing. I got to see my little girl's face, ears, eyelids, nose, mouth, everything. She was grasping the umbilical cord like a security blanket, yawning, turning, and sucking her thumb. I've never seen anything so cute. I am starting to really love this little girl! I know it seems like a no duh thing to love your baby growing inside you, but everyone knows there is a different kind of love when you actually see and interact with someone. Sure, this may just be pictures and nothing like when she comes out into the world, but I am definitly experiencing a new love I haven't felt before. I actually feel like my world would crash if anything happened to her, and I would do ANYTHING to protect her if she were in trouble. It's very intense and I have had a very emotional few days as I have come to realize this.

Last night I had a little [hormonal induced?] breakdown as I tried to figure out what carseat, stroller, and diapers to use for Madeline. Ross hugged me and reminded me that she could sleep in a wicker basket, just as long as she had her parents to take care of her. There was a heck of a lot of wisdom in that. I'm glad Ross is patient with me and supportive. He is thrilled to have a daughter, and I know they will have such a special bond.

Another example of my no-help worrying: My ultrasound revealed a low lying placenta- only about 1cm from my cervix. The tech said this usually corrects itself as the uterous grows onward and upward. Madeline appeared healthy and everything seems fine other than that. Chances are, IT WILL BE FINE. But what do I do? I go and research the topic and read about emergency c-sections, placenta previa, and premature births due to complications. NO No NO. I will find out more from my OB on Friday. Until then, please keep us in your prayers.

I will sign off with a picture of my beautiful daughter. I know, I know 3D image ultrasounds can be scarey- especially at only 19 weeks. But here is the picture that made me really fall in love. It may be hard to see, but she's clutching the umbilical cord up by her mouth. By the way, we have a video that the tech burned us of the ultrasound, and from the side, I think Madeline has my nose. Poor girl :)

Its been a while!

I have to be honest...a lot of my internet time has been spent on a pregnancy website that has message boards. I have been learning a lot on there and its a good place to vent about all thats going on with my body too :) I am DONE with the icky nausea! It started to wane about 3-4 weeks ago and this past week I can say its totally gone now. In fact I have been eating like a piggy! That needs to stop, I need to just be sensible about things or I will become quite the cow. So far I am on schedule with my weight gain. I am only about 1-2 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight, but I lost 5 lbs in the first trimester. So its safe to say I'm catching up!

The latest developments are that I have popped a little belly (kind of- it gets more noticable with food) and I can feel baby flutters! My first official one was about a week ago. A week before I kind of felt something, but wasn't 100% sure if it was baby or gas. Now its a lot easier to distinguish. I get so happy everytime I feel one, because I feel like our little son or daughter is saying hello to me.

The sex of little babe is still unknown; at our 15 week check up the baby was moving, bouncing, and wiggling around so much that our doctor couldn't get a clear shot! We were so amazed to see how active the baby was.

I had an amazing experience at Target in Gresham today. They had a better maternity section than the Clackamas Target, which meant a nearly untouched clearance rack. I got 2 dresses, a pair of pants (that actually fit) and about 7 shirts for a steal. My clothes are starting to not fit so well...so it will be a releif to wear clothes that aren't too short or tight.

16 weeks 4/13




4 weeks 1/19

The Rumors are True...

I have been anxiously waiting and waiting for the 12 week mark. Everyone said that by this time the nausea should wane and the energy should start to climb back up. I am so thankful that this appears to be true for me! Today I spent 2 1/2 hours browsing Nordstrom Rack and enjoyed every minute of it, and then enjoyed a great spaghetti and salad dinner. I also just enjoyed my first (decaf) latte in about two months. I'm back, kids! Bring on the fat!

I just got myself a Bella Band at Target. Its this little white stretchy thing that kind of looks like a tube top; but you can unbutton your pre-pregnancy jeans and cover the top with this band and it keeps them up (and covers the obvious unbuttoned look). This thing is awesome. Its the first time in ages I've been able to wear some of my more fitted jeans without having muffin tops! It just looks like I'm wearing a long white tank underneath my shirt (which I usually do anyway). I may keep this thing around for after the pregnancy; just when I feel a little poochy.

In other good news, we did get that temporary intrest rate reduction on our home loan, which saves us a hefty little chunk of cash each month. Halleluja!!!!! Ross is still job hunting and has his sites set on a certain company. Please keep him in your prayers.

Well its approaching 8:00pm, so I need to start thinking about bed in the next hour or so. Tomorrow looks to be a slow day at work, so I need the extra sleep to keep me awake.

Phinally some Photos

Grr...I wish I knew how to make this look really nice and put captions on each separate one! Is blogger not so user friendly or I am too lazy to figure it out? Okay so you just get one caption:

Top 2 photos: 3/11/09- 11 weeks along. "His"? little head is on the right- see the little nose? The white thing right above the nose is actually its little right fist. He was either punching or giving us a thumbs up, "Nice work, guys". The second picture is just more close up, but I just love the little chicken legs! (Left side of baby)
Third from top: 2/10/09- Little baby at 7 weeks and my first OB visit. The little heart flickered away on the screen as we stared in awe; wondering how something so tiny could cause so much suffering (and yes, joy).
Bottom: 1/19/09. My third positive pregnancy test. I had taken tests on 1/15 and 1/16but those results were undecided (incredibly faint line); which I later learned is still a big fat positive.

These pics are captured by our crappy 6 year old digital camera, so they are a little blurry. I will actually scan these at some point to get better quality.

OBSESSED

I got to see my little baby again yesterday and it was just so amazing! My doctor performs the ultrasound right in the exam room while I have my appointment, so we spent a good twenty minutes watching the little "guy" and looking at "it" from different angles. I am officially in love. Not that I was indifferent about the baby before, but this time I got to see way more that a little blob with a flickering heart (which my mom reminds me "a little blob is a baby too!"). I saw a nose and chin, an arm that took a swing and looked like it punched at us, little legs that kicked like they were riding a bicycle, and even a little "swimming" around. It is something I have never experienced before and I can't stop thinking about it! I am already becoming an obnoxious proud mommy and showed the pictures and have told this story about a dozen times already. But I just can't help it! This is the highlight of my life right now- between my fatigue and job uncertainty (hubs) we have this wonderful bundle of joy to make us happy.

Ross found a letter today when he was cleaning the house. I had written it to him in 2005 when we were still newly weds. I think we had just had a big fight and had made up, and I wrote him a long letter about loving him unconditionally and having faith in our committment to each other. It was actually pretty powerful for us both to read, and to think about how far we have come since then. Wow.

And now here we are. I am actually supposed to be taking a nap before we go to our friends house, but I got distracted by the 'ole computer again. I'll probably end up falling asleep on their couch :)

A blog from this arctic blast of a living room

We are using practically NO heat now to save money. Only intermittently using the fireplace. This is the part I hate. I can be good and save money. I can bargain shop for groceries, I can go without my "shopping fixes"....but I HATE sacrificing comfort. Ross and I are different in terms of our ideas for cutting costs. In my opinion, we should never have to go without heat unless we are practically homeless. Ross is firm that we should go without heat and other luxeries so that we will NEVER be practically homeless. He is probably the right one. Bummer. Pardon me for being a spoiled brat, but I just hate being cold on top of tired and nauseous (but only a little nauseous these days, at least!). All this makes for one crabby mamma to be.

As you can probably tell from the tone of this blog, I am bummed. I normally would be fine, but I think the pregnancy hormones are gettng the best of me. I have been taking it out on Ross terribly, and I'm surprised he's taking it the way he has. Probably because I usually follow it up with a hug and "I'm sorry for being mean, I'm sorry"...you know, like a wife beater does :)

Wells Fargo has been very difficult about giving us a better rate on our mortgage. First they told us we made too much money for a rate decrease. So when we sent them our updated stats, they had the nerve to say, "Uh, now you don't make enough money...forclosure may be the only option". What!?!?! And they won't count unemployment as income either; so they are very much assuming we can't make our mortgage payment- which couldn't be farther from the truth. What about people who are responsible and plan ahead or have the means to have a savings account for situations like this? I guess that doesn't count for anything. I will work overtime and sell my left pinky before we would ever forclose on this house, so thats not the concern here. But then at that point they still aren't going to help us out. Lame. They are handing out lower rates to everything that breathes and we cannot get any help at all. Then again, Ross and I are both able bodies with college degrees that can work, so I shouldn't complain too much. Its just frustrating to be told that foreclosure is even an option. Just saying the word "foreclosure" raises my heart rate.

Annnnyyyway...I officially feel like a big complainer. But it does feel good to get it all out. I'm whining because we had to turn the heat off and I don't know when I'll have extra spending money again. How ridiculous is that? Very ridiculous, in the grand scheme of things. There are people out there sleeping on the sidewalk at this very moment. I need to get a grip.

Its my day off-tuesday,and I slept for 12 hours last night. It felt so good I could do it again! The nausea is getting much, much better which helps me see a light at the end of the tunnel for this first trimester. Two more weeks and I will officially be in the second trimester- when the growing begins. I still don't look pregnant at all, except for when I pooch my stomach out after a meal from all the gas. My babe is about 1.5 inches long or so, and we get to see him or her again tomorrow!

I just want to throw him out the window

Sometimes I get really sick of my cat, Nigel. He constantly wines and would eat 24/7 if he had his way. Then when WE'RE eating he wants to jump on our laps and cuddle. If there is no food in his dish, and he don't respond to him immediately, he eats any peice of dirt or fuzz he can find on the floor, which often leads to him puking on the rug or carpet. Not on the hard floor which is easier to clean, but always on a rug.
The worst part to this is, when I yell at him for being annoying (and naughty), I see and hear myself yelling at our kid(s) when they get older and do something bad, and I HATE the way it sounds. If I want to toss an annoying cat out the window, will I be okay when a baby never stops crying? I know a baby is not a CAT, but sometimes I get scared and wonder if I'll be a good parent.
On to more exciting things...we are going to Hawaii in May! We're going for Lisa and Tim's wedding but we'll stay an entire week. I thought we weren't going to be able to afford it, but a time share opened up for the week of the wedding. We own a timeshare and can exchange it for pretty much anywhere in the world- but it seems like you usually have to book it 2 years in advance to get the time and place you want. We have been really frustrated with it, but it is finally paying off! So we get to stay in a resort in Kauai for about 20$ a day. Then we found ultra cheap plane tickets for they days we were going, so clearly it was meant to be. I hesitated momentarily d/t to the job loss situation, but I felt so strongly that we need to do this. Who knows when we would ever get to go to Hawaii again (for so cheap at least). I'll be 5 months pregnant,super white pale since I can't go tanning, and will have to drink virgin mai tais, but who cares :) If anyone has been to Kauai and has any restaurants or activities to recommend, please do!