What a smart husband!

It has been amazing to see how Ross and I have grown as individuals through nearly 5 years of marriage. Neither of us are perfect, but we have certainly accomplished a lot and have become much better people in that time span. It has taken counseling, prayer, and patience; but that has paid off 100x over.

I always used to be the patient calm one, while Ross tends to be more of a...um, firecracker? (for lack of better words). During this pregnancy, he has really grown to be a good support for his crazy hormonal wife. As I mentioned before, I have already begun "nesting". I used to be much more relaxed but I am becoming very strict on the cleanliness of the house amd obsessing about "clutter". I am convinced everything needs to be put into some kind of container, and Ross thinks I am going nuts.

This morning I wanted to make apple streudel to use up some apples before we go to Hawaii. As I started peeling and slicing the apples, I saw a big black ant run across our kitchen counter near our sink. I eventually saw about 4 more. Because of my bug anxiety I put my baking on hold and did a major cleaning of the sink, counters, dishes, etc; massacring a couple more ants on the way. I then washed up and continued with baking. I neglected to realized (after I started make it) that 1) we had no brown sugar and 2)i only had one up of flower but I needed 2. This is about when I lost it. Ross came to the rescue and gave me a big hug, saying "Come on now, lets lower that blood pressure". Then he was very thrifty; suggesting we mix white sugar with the molasses flavored syrup we had. I looked it up and it was in my cookbook's "emergency substitutions". He then put Nine Inch Nails on the sound system so I could listen to rage filled music to go along with my current mood.

I'm sure you feel very sorry for my husband now, but I promise I'm not like that all the time. I am recognising my, "psycho-ness" and trying to tame it as much as I can.

More Blessings

21 weeks pregnant: I'm enjoying every minute. Several times during the day, Madelyn (yes the spelling changed, per Ross) kicks up a storm. Sometimes when I'm at work sitting and charting, it startles me so much that I jump a little. When I am laying down at home it is instant happiness for me. Even Ross gets to feel her kick from time to time. I am so happy and feel so blessed to have a healthy little kicker. As I thought, my OB does not think my placenta will pose any danger in the pregnancy or delivery. He will probably check it again later in the pregnancy, but he felt it wasn't in the danger zone.

Ross had a phone intervew yesterday that went very well; in fact he has a second interview next Tuesday! Keep those prayers coming; we are really excited about this! And for my own selfish reasons, I am dreaming of the joys of not being responsible for financially supporting our family once our baby arrives. As for more important reasons, I think Ross is really excited about this job possibility and that it will suit him well. We will see.

Work is going well. I love my job more and more every day and am so glad to be working there. I am a little overwhelmed as I prepare for Madelyn's arrival, as well as adjusting to my already changing life. My home has become much more of a priority lately. #1) I am really sensetive to smells, so I cannot deal with any odors and am cleaning much more frequently. Reason #2) I am completing as many projects as I can to improve the appearance. I don't want our home and yard to look like trash once I am sleep deprived and unable to be as ambitious as I am now, and #3) In approximately 4 months, there will be a baby living here, and she needs "stuff". I have never even babysat before, so I have been starting from scratch.

What my body is doing: I looked down in disgust at about 10 pairs of jeans in my closet that do not even come close to fitting. This is not a vanity thing, I am NOT upset that my body is changing. It is just discouraging when you want to wear an outfit with jeans but can't because both of the 2 pairs that fit are in the laundry. I know, boo hoo. I had to buy another new bra and you would not believe what size I am even if I told you! This is one side effect I will be sad about losing. Other than those, the rest of me is pretty much the same. The nasty breakouts are getting better with my mixure of Aveeno, tea tree oil, and Frankincense oil. My love handles and belly itch all the time from my skin being stretched. My feet get swollen by the end of the day and putting my feet up is my new favorite activity. I eat watermelon like there's no tomorrow. My nails have never been so healthy! I just feel really good. Everyone says this is the golden stage of pregnancy. As long as Maddy and I stay healthy I guess I don't have too much to complain about!

Its a Girl! Little Madeline!

19 weeks:
I had a 2nd trimester ultrasound on Monday. What an experience! I made sure to not touch a drop of caffiene or a speck of sugar that day, after how crazy the little baby was at my 15 week ultrasound. That definitly helped a little bit, but our little daughter was still kicking. She yawned about 6 times during the photo shoot, that we could see. It was pretty cute, I must say! She was being modest and hiding her booty behind my belly button (which apparently casts a shadow) but our ultrasound tech was able to give us a pretty good determination that she's a girl. Which lines up with Dr. Tan's [most recent] guess, so a girl it is. At the end the tech turned on the 3D image which is just amazing. I got to see my little girl's face, ears, eyelids, nose, mouth, everything. She was grasping the umbilical cord like a security blanket, yawning, turning, and sucking her thumb. I've never seen anything so cute. I am starting to really love this little girl! I know it seems like a no duh thing to love your baby growing inside you, but everyone knows there is a different kind of love when you actually see and interact with someone. Sure, this may just be pictures and nothing like when she comes out into the world, but I am definitly experiencing a new love I haven't felt before. I actually feel like my world would crash if anything happened to her, and I would do ANYTHING to protect her if she were in trouble. It's very intense and I have had a very emotional few days as I have come to realize this.

Last night I had a little [hormonal induced?] breakdown as I tried to figure out what carseat, stroller, and diapers to use for Madeline. Ross hugged me and reminded me that she could sleep in a wicker basket, just as long as she had her parents to take care of her. There was a heck of a lot of wisdom in that. I'm glad Ross is patient with me and supportive. He is thrilled to have a daughter, and I know they will have such a special bond.

Another example of my no-help worrying: My ultrasound revealed a low lying placenta- only about 1cm from my cervix. The tech said this usually corrects itself as the uterous grows onward and upward. Madeline appeared healthy and everything seems fine other than that. Chances are, IT WILL BE FINE. But what do I do? I go and research the topic and read about emergency c-sections, placenta previa, and premature births due to complications. NO No NO. I will find out more from my OB on Friday. Until then, please keep us in your prayers.

I will sign off with a picture of my beautiful daughter. I know, I know 3D image ultrasounds can be scarey- especially at only 19 weeks. But here is the picture that made me really fall in love. It may be hard to see, but she's clutching the umbilical cord up by her mouth. By the way, we have a video that the tech burned us of the ultrasound, and from the side, I think Madeline has my nose. Poor girl :)

Its been a while!

I have to be honest...a lot of my internet time has been spent on a pregnancy website that has message boards. I have been learning a lot on there and its a good place to vent about all thats going on with my body too :) I am DONE with the icky nausea! It started to wane about 3-4 weeks ago and this past week I can say its totally gone now. In fact I have been eating like a piggy! That needs to stop, I need to just be sensible about things or I will become quite the cow. So far I am on schedule with my weight gain. I am only about 1-2 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight, but I lost 5 lbs in the first trimester. So its safe to say I'm catching up!

The latest developments are that I have popped a little belly (kind of- it gets more noticable with food) and I can feel baby flutters! My first official one was about a week ago. A week before I kind of felt something, but wasn't 100% sure if it was baby or gas. Now its a lot easier to distinguish. I get so happy everytime I feel one, because I feel like our little son or daughter is saying hello to me.

The sex of little babe is still unknown; at our 15 week check up the baby was moving, bouncing, and wiggling around so much that our doctor couldn't get a clear shot! We were so amazed to see how active the baby was.

I had an amazing experience at Target in Gresham today. They had a better maternity section than the Clackamas Target, which meant a nearly untouched clearance rack. I got 2 dresses, a pair of pants (that actually fit) and about 7 shirts for a steal. My clothes are starting to not fit so well...so it will be a releif to wear clothes that aren't too short or tight.

16 weeks 4/13




4 weeks 1/19

The Rumors are True...

I have been anxiously waiting and waiting for the 12 week mark. Everyone said that by this time the nausea should wane and the energy should start to climb back up. I am so thankful that this appears to be true for me! Today I spent 2 1/2 hours browsing Nordstrom Rack and enjoyed every minute of it, and then enjoyed a great spaghetti and salad dinner. I also just enjoyed my first (decaf) latte in about two months. I'm back, kids! Bring on the fat!

I just got myself a Bella Band at Target. Its this little white stretchy thing that kind of looks like a tube top; but you can unbutton your pre-pregnancy jeans and cover the top with this band and it keeps them up (and covers the obvious unbuttoned look). This thing is awesome. Its the first time in ages I've been able to wear some of my more fitted jeans without having muffin tops! It just looks like I'm wearing a long white tank underneath my shirt (which I usually do anyway). I may keep this thing around for after the pregnancy; just when I feel a little poochy.

In other good news, we did get that temporary intrest rate reduction on our home loan, which saves us a hefty little chunk of cash each month. Halleluja!!!!! Ross is still job hunting and has his sites set on a certain company. Please keep him in your prayers.

Well its approaching 8:00pm, so I need to start thinking about bed in the next hour or so. Tomorrow looks to be a slow day at work, so I need the extra sleep to keep me awake.

Phinally some Photos

Grr...I wish I knew how to make this look really nice and put captions on each separate one! Is blogger not so user friendly or I am too lazy to figure it out? Okay so you just get one caption:

Top 2 photos: 3/11/09- 11 weeks along. "His"? little head is on the right- see the little nose? The white thing right above the nose is actually its little right fist. He was either punching or giving us a thumbs up, "Nice work, guys". The second picture is just more close up, but I just love the little chicken legs! (Left side of baby)
Third from top: 2/10/09- Little baby at 7 weeks and my first OB visit. The little heart flickered away on the screen as we stared in awe; wondering how something so tiny could cause so much suffering (and yes, joy).
Bottom: 1/19/09. My third positive pregnancy test. I had taken tests on 1/15 and 1/16but those results were undecided (incredibly faint line); which I later learned is still a big fat positive.

These pics are captured by our crappy 6 year old digital camera, so they are a little blurry. I will actually scan these at some point to get better quality.

OBSESSED

I got to see my little baby again yesterday and it was just so amazing! My doctor performs the ultrasound right in the exam room while I have my appointment, so we spent a good twenty minutes watching the little "guy" and looking at "it" from different angles. I am officially in love. Not that I was indifferent about the baby before, but this time I got to see way more that a little blob with a flickering heart (which my mom reminds me "a little blob is a baby too!"). I saw a nose and chin, an arm that took a swing and looked like it punched at us, little legs that kicked like they were riding a bicycle, and even a little "swimming" around. It is something I have never experienced before and I can't stop thinking about it! I am already becoming an obnoxious proud mommy and showed the pictures and have told this story about a dozen times already. But I just can't help it! This is the highlight of my life right now- between my fatigue and job uncertainty (hubs) we have this wonderful bundle of joy to make us happy.

Ross found a letter today when he was cleaning the house. I had written it to him in 2005 when we were still newly weds. I think we had just had a big fight and had made up, and I wrote him a long letter about loving him unconditionally and having faith in our committment to each other. It was actually pretty powerful for us both to read, and to think about how far we have come since then. Wow.

And now here we are. I am actually supposed to be taking a nap before we go to our friends house, but I got distracted by the 'ole computer again. I'll probably end up falling asleep on their couch :)