Fight

Well I am almost to that point that I can just laugh about a fight Ross and I had. Most of us married peeps don't like to talk about the bad times in marriage because it could make our marriage look bad. We're afraid people will say, "Wow- her husband is a jerk!" or "wow, I bet THEY are unhappy". It's my experience that people who say they never fight or never have hard times are either bored or LYING. I never blog about our fights for the same pride issue, and because it is actually very personal. I don't need to invite my friends and acquaintances into my marital 'tiffs. But I am going to share this fight with you, because it is even funny to me. It was not funny last night, but I already can see some humor in it...

I cut my bangs on friday. I just wanted a new look. Ross and I both bad busy weekends with a girls' night and a guys' night and practice with his band, so we hardly saw each other. He asked me to text him a pic on friday, so I did. No response. I know my husband, and the subtext of his lack of texting was- he didn't like it. I decided- that's okay! I like it, and he will get used to it. He did let me know the next day that he just didn't like the bangs part, but loved the rest of my hair. I was okay with that. So fast forward to last night. I have Tuesdays off, so we were going to go on a little date. I put on my new shirt, put on some make-up, and thought I looked pretty good. And dang it, I wanted him to tell me I looked good. (Now just as side note, I am bad about doing that whole woman thing where we expect men to read our minds and then get upset when they don't- and I'm working on that!). So anyway, he didn't compliment me, so I asked him to. Yes. I asked him to. I was being a silly woman, and wanted reassurance. He looked at my bangs (not at me) and said, looking kind of sad, "I just miss your old hair...The rest of you is beautiful but I just don't like the bangs". This is where things got ugly for a little bit, and I don't need to dish out the rest. I cancelled the date because I was upset. I was so hurt that me cutting my hair was such a big deal to him. He was slightly upset because I changed the way I looked and he liked the way I looked before. You know, like when a dad shaves his beard and the kids freak out and start screaming and crying. (By the way- I hope that blogging about this does not make my husband seem like a jerk- i guess that's the risk when blogging about this! I promise, he is very good to me :) So coming out on the other side of this, I realize why this is such a crisis. I am a woman who is sensitive about her looks and went a little ballistic that he didn't love it. He literally got sad and bothered that I "didn't look like his wife anymore" (which is a bit of an overstatement), and did not choose the best way to react. He sincerely apologized for hurting me. I still don't fully understand his angle, but I won't hold this against him. I guess he's never liked bangs.

The good news is that I like the bangs. They are a little shorter than what I wanted, but they will grow and be perfect in a week or two. The better news is that it is JUST HAIR. Every day I work with people fighting for their lives, and here we are fighting over bangs. For this, I am a bit ashamed. But hopefully there are people out there who can relate to me about fighting about the silly, meaningless things in life. Or maybe Ross and I are pathetic :)

The date is back on for tonight. I will be sure to style my bangs accordingly...and that is not swept off to the side, but proudly over my forehead for him to stare at all night ;)