Tomorrow is my last "Stay at home mom" Thursday. My day to catch up on the weeks hectic goings on, do laundry, and spend the whole day; just me and my little girl (and husband if he was home). Thursday was the little break before Friday; which was always bearable, because it was only one more day of work before I had my weekend. Friends; I had THE best of both worlds as a part time working/stay at home mom.
Due to financial reasons and the fact that my husband hates every moment of being a car salesman; I am increasing my hours and working Tuesday-Friday now. Ross will be a stay at home dad. This idea was prompted by talks with my coworker that made me feel that it would be better for our clinic to have a nurse who is there more consistently. Since I have been there the longest and I live the closest, I felt that person could be me. I love my job (most of time) so a few more hours wouldn't kill me, and it would certainly benefit my family. I ran the idea by Ross and he instantly jumped at the chance to quit his job. We did the math and discovered that by me working just one more day a week, he could quit his part time job altogether. While it doesn't thrill him to be a stay at home dad (seriously...we could handle it if he were thrown a "job" bone any time now) he prefers it over working in that 'ell 'ole (Hell hole- thats a Waiting for Guffman joke for one of my few readers ;)
Honestly; the decision for me to work an extra day came flooding in and it felt like a lightbulb went on. I made this decision on Saturday. When I returned to work on Tuesday, I stopped in my manager's office before my day started, and the request was approved so fast my head spun. This literally fell into place so quickly, I know that it was meant to be (for now). I start next week. For a decision that has felt so right, and where all the details were worked out without single hiccup, I feel so ...sad.
I always had Thursday to recharge and get plenty of Sweet-Pea time after working Tuesday and Wednesday. I always thought I would be a semi-stay at home mom who worked 2 days a week; and just got to being really happy with working 3. Even though its only one more day; 9 more hours; 3 of which Madelyn is napping; it just feels like so much more. Its not being at work, its being away from my home and daughter. This makes me really sad.
Ross is an awesome dad, but he doesn't have the same patience and multitasking skills that I have. He doesn't delight in power cleaning and cooking to Grey's Anatomy while Madelyn naps like I do. I was created to be a housewife/mommy. I was also created to be a nurse and provide for my family, appearantly.
My selfish prayer: Lord- please show my family your plan. We need more wisdom and patience to be happy with where Your plan has us right now!
*for the record I am thankful for all of our blessings; we have always been taken care of. But tonight, I am complaining.*
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
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2 comments:
I know you apologized for complaining, but really...it didn't come off that way at all. It really felt like you were actually excited about the changes in your family. So if you aren't-you totally fooled me.
seriously? Oh I wasn't being completely honest then :) I think I feel guilty for complaining, so I do my best to give thanks and praise for all we have WHILE I'm complaining- does that make sense? I constantly try to be thankful and optimistic, but I am really bummed out about working almost full time husband being a SAHD. He's pretty bummed too. Its a complete role reversal from what we have desired and worked toward for years.
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