Dear Baby

I just found this in my drafts and wanted to share this. In the first week after we found out we were pregnant with Ezra, we had a miscarriage scare. I discovered bright red bleeding. The OB (not my OB, another doctor) told me that there was a 50% chance of the "pregnancy" surviving and that I shouldn't get attached. That was my Ezzie in there, and I'm so thankful he is sleeping upstairs right now:

7/6/2011- You certainly have your mom worried right now. I am waiting to see the doctor, because we are scared we might be losing you. Keep in mind, your mom has a problem with excessive worrying, but the bleeding is not helping one bit. I know that miscarriages are very common this early; but I feel like I just got comfortable with the idea of you sticking around for almost 8 more months, and I REALLY was looking forward to holding you next March. Daddy is at work, your sister is at the babysitters, and I am here praying that everything is okay. God has already decided the plan for your life, and He knows what the outcome of this will be.


I wrote this after I had gotten home from my OB appointment that was not reassuring at all. I remember seeing the little sac on the ultrasound, and even though the doctor was cold and emotionless as she told me my uterus was full of blood and that the "pregnancy" may detach (she refused to call it a baby and corrected me when I called it a baby); I had a feeling you were okay. And here you are- such a blessing and joy in my life.

Love,
Mom