The bump in the road I sadly was halfway expecting

Ross lost his job today. The small company he worked for had to lay off 1/3 of their employees due to how bad business has been. This has been in the back of our minds for a while now- since the economy has tanked. Amazingly enough, we both feel okay. Ross received huge amounts of praise from his former boss and president of the company. They even said that if things got better, they would call him and love to have him back. I honestly feel bad for the president of a company like this- HAVING to lay people off and watching your business fail. Its just a bad situation all around. The only part of this that made me cry is thinking about Ross's co-workers who are already fathers and are the main providers for their family. Here are the reasons Ross and I are taking this better than I ever thought we would:

1) First and foremost, we both have this amazing, surprisingly strong amount of comfort that God is taking care of us, He will provide and protect, and we will be okay.
2) I have an amazing job that pays well and has outstanding benefits. I can insure Ross and myself for about 12$ a month. As a registered nurse I will always have a job (unless my fingers get chopped off...but then I could always still do phone triage :)
3)If we need more $, I can go back to working 5 days a week instead of 4.
4) We tried to refinance our home to get a better rate for our mortgage. The other day we were told we do not qualify unless we can prove we are in financial hardship. Hmmm...daddy lost his job with a baby on the way? I think we qualify :)Which leads me to another silver lining...We have to send the bank my last two paystubs so they can see what I make (as I am now the sole provider)
5) My last two paystubs were smaller than usual because I took a couple days off and I don't have PTO yet. So that will help us to qualify for help and get a lower mortgage rate.
6) We were blessed with a very hearty tax refund this year! I was going to save it for maternity leave, but we can use it while Ross finds a new job
7) Ross received a severance check which included his vacation time, and it was for more than a month's pay.
8) They made his official termination date March 1 so he is still insured through March.
9) We've been through this before...about 4 years ago when were were already a lot worse off financially. We made it through that one. I believe we have the wisdom, faith, and support from family to make it through again.
10) He should qualify for unemployment.
11) Ross is highly skilled and educated, and has a very diverse, unique, and desirable skill set. Not to mention a stunning personality and handsome face :) He is very hirable. I know it won't be easy to find a job during this time, but he will.


Pray mostly for Ross- that he not be discouraged and is able to find a new job that fulfills him and provides for our family. Maybe even a better job so I won't have to alway be a working mommy? :) He actually is doing well. His lay off had nothing to do with perfomance and everything to do with the company failing, and he understands that.

Our sweetie in the womb is almost 10 weeks old and we are still as thrilled as ever about having a little baby. My nausea has leveled out and maybe even improved slightly. Still there though. I won't go into any details, but sadly I won't be able to eat lasagne or strawberries for a while (hopefully not forever!) My mom to this day hates curry, because once when she had pregnancy nausea they lived next to a Thai couple who always had curry smells coming from their home. (Notice I call it pregnancy nausea and not "morning sickness". I am boycotting the name "morning sickness", its so misleading.)

I should go to enjoy the evening with my hubby. We are cooking leftover pizza under the broiler, watching a movie, and cuddling next to the space heater to save $$ on heating the place :) We're going to be alright!

"I have to admit its getting bettah..."

Today just felt glorious for me. I didn't hurl this morning during my shower (isn't that weird? Almost every morning during my shower, I have to puke, and then shower sitting down so I don't faint. Its so pathetic!). But today I took a shower STANDING up without interruptions! Then I ate a good breakfast of an entire ruby red grapefruit (not just half) and yogurt, and a big turkey sandwich for lunch. A very good day indeed. Yesterday was okay, so I am thinking that either a) I'm just getting used to this first trimester junk and have learned to adapt or b) I have just been lucky these last couple days. (Then of course there's c)- the fear in the back of my mind that something went wrong with the pregnancy...but there's no need for me to obsess about that. No. I obsess about bad stuff way too much as it is!). Any way you look at it, its good, because I am tired of being a whiney little bee-yotch. The faitgue is becoming more acceptable; I just have allowed myself to lay down and nap whenever I please (except at work- although its not too far fetched condidering we have recliner chairs and warm blankets.)
I know I have said this before, but work has been wonderful for this time in my life. Not only am I surrounded by such supportive and helpful ladies at work, but my patients are just amazing people. A lot of them deal with nausea, vomiting, and fatigue, but they are fighting for their life. It puts my symptoms into perspective, and helps me to stop focusing on myself and my nausea (or "Our Nausea" as Buster would refer to it. 50 points if you get that joke.)
On Wednesday night, Ross really wanted me to go with him to Best Buy, because him and I don't get to spend that much quality time together (when not working, I'm usually sleeping). He lured me with the promise of getting me a Rodeo Cheeseburger from Burger King, so I came. I could only eat half of it, but it was worth it. I felt so white trash in my little mismatched hoodie, yoga pants that are a little too long for my short legs, and house slippers. Not to mention the Burger King Soda in my hand. It was pretty great. But the evening only got better when we had to stop at "Geek Squad" inside Best Buy to discuss our faulty DVD player. The guy helping us was as pleasant as could be, but he had this presumably fake British accent that kind of came and went as he gave us his spiel on the DVD player. Ross and I later giggled about how he broke character more than a few times. It was an entertaining Wednesday night.

Well now I am feeling a little guilty for not doing a little work on my disgusting kitchen, or cooking a little something for dinner. Man, it will be hard once this baby comes into the world and I won't be able to get out of house work and chores. I may update later with "Belly pictures". (Just for fun, since I'm not supposed to be showing yet. But I am a little more poochy than normal from my uterus growing to acommodate the new one AND all that gas. Ah, the gas. Its hard to act like a lady with all this gas! Too much info? Gas gas gas gas gas!)

"Can't I just immigrate until the 2nd trimester?"

...I said this last night and had meant to say "hibernate" until 2nd trimester but I am clearly delerious. I'm suspecting that my prenatal vitamins are causing me more sickness than the pregnancy alone, so I am going to look into flinstone vitamins (I heard that ladies can have two of those to make up for the necessary stuff).

Ross had two wisdom teeth pulled yesterday so we are sitting at home today, cleaning the house bit by bit. We are a pretty pathetic pair. Later we will head down to Eugene to be pathetic at my mom's house. Ross is actually doing really well- no pain and hardly any swelling! He just feels cruddy because he can't have solid foods. Last night I discovered Ben and Jerry's "Imagine Whirrled Peace" and felt like I went to heaven. It was the first time I had enjoyed food in the last two weeks! I ate about half the little container and then went to bed a happy woman.

something to share...

Watch this to see how I feel at this time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rJ3Y0TOyfE

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just kidding! I was looking up "7 weeks ultrasound" on youtube so I could get an idea of what I would see at our appointment. This showed up and I almost puked...for the second time today that is.

So the ultra sound went great! I didn't let Ross take pictures because it was an intra-hoo-hoo ultra sound. I was not going to show off pictures of me wearing a paper sheet. But it was so amazing to see our little baby! I'm sure most would think it looks like a blob, but I see a baby when I look at it. I'm so proud of our little booboo. The heart was beating nice and fast as it should. Dr. Tan is pleased that I am feeling all those "wonderful" symptoms (bad symptoms = good pregnancy???) and assured me that they should go away in 4-6 weeks. Due date according to the ultrasound measurements is 9/26/09; according to LMP 9/30/09.

After the appointment Ross and I walked down the hall to my office and shared the news. It was SOOO fun to finally get to just tell people and be excited about it and not scared. I see the women in my office every day, and its nice to not be hiding it anymore. A couple of them were suspicious :)

I'll post a picture when I have it scanned. I also want to post a video from Ross's show too! I have got to learn how to be more savvy with this blogging thing...

I am thankful, I am thankful, I am thankful...

I have read blogs of other pregnant women and I don't remember them complaining so much. I am working really really hard to stay positive. I need prayers, and tips for dealing with the queasies and the fatigue. Part of it I think is just understanding my limitations. I feel like it is not okay for me to not make dinner. Not because of Ross...he has been very understanding and helpful...but I have been putting that guilt on myself. I pretty much get home from work, shove something in my mouth (usually a cup-of -noodles and a small bag of baby carrots or fruit) and then by 9pm I'm ready for bed. My mom told me that I am doing enough by just going to work 8 hours a day and I shouldn't expect any more of myself. I just miss being Ross's wife who cooks and does fun stuff in the evenings. I told him I was worried he didn't like me anymore and he told me I was being silly. He loves that I'm growing his baby. Awe.

Interestingly enough work has been great. Keeping busy helps, and it also helps that I love my job, my patients, and the people I work with. So I am so thankful for that. I also have to keep reminding myself that I WANTED this! I made this happen. In fact, a mere two weeks ago I even kind of "wished" for some nausea just so I would know I was really pregnant. I could kick myself for that!

Well today should be good. I think I just need to make myself a simple list of "goals and reasonable expectations" so I don't get dissapointed. This morning I made smoothies for breakfast. Ross and I are going to go for a walk to Safeway in about an hour or so. Then I will take a shower (yeah, I got a late start today). Then I will make homemade bread and soup for late lunch/early dinner, and then go to Ross's concert tonight and try to stay awake the whole time.

What a difference a few days can make...

I feel so foolish for saying, "I'm not even that nauseous, pregnancy isn't so bad!" in my last post. Its almost as if the "morning sickness fairy" heard me say that and decided to come down and tap me with her wand. Only that bitch isn't only here in the morning. She stays all day long. Sorry for the bad language on my baby blog but I am irritated! I am not hurking yet, I just constantly feel like I am going to. Yesterday I was a bad mother and thought for a minute that 9 months of this is just too much, and wished for a second that I wasn't doing this. Ambivalence at its best. Then I thought of my little pea-sized angel in there. And how my body only feels this way because it has to in order to make a good home for him or her.

Well its 10am on tuesday morning and I've been dissapointingly unproductive. All I have done this morning is watch TV and eat a peice of toast. As soon as I drink some much needed fluids I will go for a little walk on the treadmill. Then I want to find a store around here that sells "Preggo pops". Its this brand that makes candy with ginger and other things that naturally help with nausea. Our office had a few samples of "Queasy drops" which are pretty much the same thing (made by the same brand), since a lot of my patients deal with nausea. No one was using them, so I tried one out and it kinda helped for a little while! So I have got to find me some of those...

So that is my update....despite my complaining, all is well. I know the nausea should wear off by the second trimester, so I have about 6 weeks of this left. I better get used to it or it will be a long 6 weeks! Ultrasound is in 1 week! Keep us in your prayers.