I Have a One Year Old?!?!?!

I just rocked my one-year old baby to sleep. How did this happen? I don't completely know why, but I have been a little sad all yesterday and today. I teared up as we sang her "Happy Birthday" yesterday at her rockin' b-day party. I watched in disbelief as she poked at the cake with her right index finger for a good 5 minutes as everyone watched with anticipation for her to take her first bite. I melted inside as I looked at the clock at 1:20pm today and realized that a year ago at that moment, I was working on pushing Madelyn out of my body for her to start living in this world. At 5:00pm, Ross and I reflected on how a year ago at that moment, we were cradling our Madelyn; not resting a single moment for fear of her somehow breaking or spontaneously stop breathing. And how we held her with such caution and care; not wanting any chance of harm to come within miles of her.

As I rocked her to sleep tonight, I thought of the past 12 months, and how much of that time I spent holding her, rocking her, feeding her, cuddling with her, "shhhhh"-ing her, singing to her, and sometimes crying with her. Holding my beautiful dear, I had no serious regrets; except for that I wish I had embraced each phase of her life more. If I would have known a year ago that she would grow to be such a sweet little girl, then maybe I wouldn't have been so frustrated about her night time wakings, her 8-11pm "Midnight Madd-ness", and her 45 minute nursing sessions. Or maybe I would? Maybe hindsight is 20/20, and post-partum hormones are more powerful than wisdom. Who knows. The important thing is, that we made it together (all three of us, I mean) and I know that she loves me, and she knows I love her.

Today, my special little girl does this:

Food: She eats everything we eat, as long as its not too spicy or hard to chew. She drinks a bottle of whole milk first thing in the morning, before her nap, and before bedtime (yeah, we cheated and transitioned her 2 weeks early. Buying formula is a pain in the arse!).

Milestones: She can stand up by herself without falling; as long as she is distracted by clapping or playing with a toy. Once she realizes she's standing on her own; she gets a concerned look and reaches for something or sits back down.

Sleep: She takes a 2-hour nap at noon-ish and that's it. She goes to bed around 7:30-8pm and sleeps until 7:30-8am.

Words: Dada, Mama (when she is upset, mostly), Na-na (when she's hungry), Heh-huh (her version of "uh-oh", and she uses the same voice inflection as we say uh-oh), "eye-jul" (Nigel, or Gentle...because everytime she pets Nigel, we tell her to be gentle). Her new thing is to copy whatever you say using the same voice inflection as you, but just her bable. Its hard to explain, but oh-so very cute :)

I will have to talk about her wonderful Birthday party and post pictures, but for now the hubs and I are going to decompress after a busy week with the fam and burn wrapping paper in our firepit.