15 weeks- and lots of changes

Age - 15 weeks

Weight - hmmm...I made Ross weigh her on our crummy scale (he weighed himself then weighed himself while holding her. I refused to do this, because I don't want to know what I weigh). It read 12 lbs...which can't be right. You should see this girl's chunky little thighs! So I will guess 13. We are about to get a Wii w/ Wii fit which has a more accurate scale for weighing baby.

Sleeping habit - Goes to bed around 8pm, wakes around 8am. She slept through the New Years Eve fireworks last night! Good girl! She must be a heavy sleeper like her mommy. I still have her in the Swaddleme, but am thinking I should retire it soon. I will ask her pediatrician. She naps 2-3 times a day for 30 min- 1 hour at a time, but its very difficult to get her down for the nap.

Eating habits - 6x a day. I just went back to work part time! So now the routine (on the days I work)is nurse at 7am, bottle (pumped breastmilk) at about 9:30am, 12:00pm, 3:00pm, and then I feed her when I get home from work at about 5:30. Then she eats again at 7:30 before going to bed.

Cutest Moment of the Week - Too many to count, but here's one you can see for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMlC7wduZtc&feature=youtu.be&a

Milestones - She has become very mobile. She almost rolls from back to tummy now. She rolls completely from one side to the other side. She has entered a very alert phase where she doesn't want to sleep and she wants to put everything in her mouth. Even my nose.
Firsts - afraid of people holding her who aren't mom and dad. She gets her little frown and cries if anyone other than us pics her up, but she gets over it quick with her grandmas/gpa and aunties

Is anyone out there?

I have been trying to blog more. Mostly, its a good way to document my life at this time; as I learn how to be everything I want to be at the same time (wife, mother, nurse, Jesus follower). But I do like to know if anyone actually reads this; as it influences what I write about.

I know my faithful friend Katie (XeniaT) reads my blog; as she has been the only commenter (thanks Katie!). But is there anyone else out there reading this? If so, please comment. If not, I understand. I have been known to browse people's blogs even if I don't know them well, without fessing up. For the most part, though, I have come clean and let the bloggers know because I didn't want to feel like a creepy stalker. So yeah, basically, if you read this and don't comment, I am calling you a creepy stalker. kiiiiiiddddiiiiinnnngggg.....

this kind of stuff gets me! Rant/Soapbox warning

I should start a separate blog for Craigslist rants...

I'm looking for a white bookshelf for Maddy's room. My eyes tend to wander while searching craigslist, and I find things like this:

http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/bab/1527604950.html

Basically, this person wants to trade her leftover crap (like a bottle of Herbal Essences hair spray???) for really nice items. Like her old used digital camera for a "nice large lens" new digital camera and video camera (digital only, naturally); or her cheap Gerber BPA bottles for Avent BPA free bottles. I want to tell her that maybe if she didn't waste all her money on toiletries that she didn't need or use, she would have been able to just buy Avent bottles or some of the other items on her list.

This is one of my pet peeves in the world of garage sales and Craigslist. People don't want their crappy items that were likely a frivilous purchase; so they want to get top dollar for them so they can go out and spend more money. I have been guilty of being a frivilous spender in the past, so I can't judge. But I do know that lately I have come to realize that people consume way too much CRAP.

I challenge you to clean out your garage, closet, etc. and get rid of items you really don't need. Put them in a box and then ask yourself this:

1)How much did I pay for this? and
2)Did I really need it (or furthermore- even use it?)

Once done, I encourage you to give these items to charity; rather than expect someone else to make up for your silly spending (unless its a very expensive item and you need the money).

I'm not trying to be preachy- in fact, maybe all of you readers (all 2 of you ;) have been much more wise about spending and don't even need to hear this. This is just my little recently learned life lesson. It just helps me to write it/say it outloud so I remember it

14 weeks

Age - 14 weeks

Weight - has now outgrown her 3 month old jammies- wearing all 3-6 or 6 month size clothing. Has little butt cellulite and it is way cuter on her than on me.

Sleeping habit - The past few days she has been going to bed about 7:30 and wakes up at 7am

Eating habits - the same- breastfeeding 6X a day

Cutest Moment of the Week - Oh my gosh, my mom got her a jumparoo for Christmas! We have to stack books under her because she is so little and her feet don't touch the floor yet, but there is no doubt she is ready for it. She had a blast in it yesterday. I hope to get a video of her up soon- its about the cutest thing ever!

Milestones - Being strong and steady headed enough to use a jumparoo- her first big toy

Firsts - Squeals with delight at daddy and mommy.

My Dear Madelyn:

We both cried a lot today. It was your first Christmas. Last night we spent the whole day in our house with your Grandma Martha and Aunt Emily and Uncle Daniel; Aunt Pam, and Uncle Allain; and your Grandma and Grandpa Steve joined us too. We had a wonderful time and you got a lot of gifts.

Today, the party continued and we spent Christmas Day at Grandma and Grandpa Lumsden's house. Great- Grandma Mary and Lee were there; as were Uncle Tom and Aunt Stephanie. You had a wonderful time, but you refused to take a nap. I think you didn't like to sleep in an unfamiliar area. Or maybe you were having too much fun. By 5:00pm you were exhausted and still couldn't sleep. You began to cry the kind of cry that makes your mom and dad really sad. So I took you in my arms to a dark quiet room and held and rocked you to sleep. You soon stopped crying and fell asleep peacefully on my chest.

Rather than set you down to sleep, I continued to hold you and rock you back and forth. I enjoyed it too much to set you down. It then occured to me that in just 4 days, I will be returning to my old job as a nurse. 3 days out of the week, I will be away from you for most of your waking hours during the day. The tears started coming, and they wouldn't stop. I went through ten tissues as I wept quietly at the reality of being away from you for so long. I thought about how I won't be able to hold you when you cry (if I'm at work). I thought about how some of our special nursing sessions will be replaced with a mechanical pump and plastic bottle; not you and I gazing at each other while you eat.

I cried like this for an hour. While I held you; we had switched places. Now I was the one crying and you were comforting me. Nothing felt better than to place my cheek against yours during this emotionally painful moment. Your dad came in and thought that something was wrong with you when he saw me crying so hard and holding you. As soon as I was able to express these feelings to him, I felt a little better. He told me that he will bring you to my work for me to feed you during my lunch break for the first few days. I am still sad about going back to work, but find so much comfort in knowing that your dad will be taking care of you. He loves you and I sooooo so much.

I realized that I may have been a little too emotional and dramatic about this. But no one ever could have prepared me for how much I love you. The past 3 months have been the most difficult, but even more joyous and rewarding than any other time in my life so far. I never in my life thought I would want to be a stay at home mom until the thought of being away from you brought this much pain to my heart. I know that I have to learn how to let go, because you will continue to grow up and I will have to say goodbye to you as you go to school and play with your friends. You will want to go to sleepovers; then eventually on dates. Then not too long after that you will leave home; and I will definitely have to let you go. I will probably cry this hard, if not harder.

I hope you always know how much your dad and I love you. I tell you every day, and I always will.

Conundrum

Email response from the gal who stood me up on a Craiglist meeting in which I was giving her 6 cloth diapers. She posted an ad on Craigslist asking for people to donate cloth diapers to her. We emailed back and fourth and decided on a meeting place at a Starbucks close to her home. I waited for 15 minutes before I had to leave for a doctor appointment. I left them with the kind people at Starbucks who were willing to let me leave a bag of diapers with them. I called and left her a phone message; then I emailed her and told her I left them there for her to pick up.


"I will go down there today! I hope they still has them. Sorry for not showing! I have so many things going on and no calender or or planner.I rememberd an hour to late. so so sorry. I'll let you know what happens."

To be honest I am really struggling with this. I need to remember that when I am doing a good deed, I need to not expect ANYTHING from the person who needs it. Its not for my satisfaction, but for the benefit of those who need it.

[my negative thoughts pour in] But I can't help but think that this is a very irresponsible person. If one is needy enough to ask for donations on Craigslist, then they better damn well show up to receive them. I feel as though she is such an irresponsible person, and that may be the reason she needs to ask for donations.

[Then I stop thinking that;realizing that I am not being loving as Jesus would be] And I think about how blessed I am to not be in her situation and how I NEED to reach out and love her; even though she may be irresponsible and stood me up. I do not know her pain and struggles.

Thoughts and emotional tug-of-wars like this occur in my mind all the time. I have a desire to help, but I feel like when I simply "give"; money, food, or objects; I get burned. Like when the "needy" man turned his nose up at the Thai food I offered him. Or when the man begging for bus fare ran into a mini-mart with the money I gave him to buy cigaretts.

I have no doubt that there are needy people out there, but I always seem to chose the wrong ones. Then again, maybe giving to them will set forth a necessary change in their hearts. I need to think this way so I don't be cynical about the importance of helping the needy.

No matter how difficult it may be, I can't forget how important it is for me to help others. I am too blessed on this earth to not share with those in poor life sitations. I need more stregnth and patience to do this.

12/13 weeks

oops! I skipped 12 weeks and so much has happened!

Age - 13 weeks

Weight - still don't know! is it bad that I don't really care?
i officially had to retire all her 0-3 month clothes and she is a happy little chunker- thats good enough for me :)
Height - see previous

Sleeping habit - still consistent; about 9pm to 8am; non stop. She hasn't woken up in the middle of the night since the day before Thanksgiving (knock on wood). Go Maddy, go!We are blessed.

Eating habits - usually eats @ 8am, 10:30ish, 1ish, 4ish, 6:30pmish, then 830 before bed. Breastfeeding only, still.

Cutest Moment of the Week - she has discovered "talking" in week 12 and talks up a storm now. Says "i-ee" when I say hi. Said "i-uh-ooo"; and we pretended she was saying "i love you"

Milestones - cooing "talking"

Firsts - rolls from back to side now (usually prefers her back). now she's all over the place. watch out!
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