14 weeks

Age - 14 weeks

Weight - has now outgrown her 3 month old jammies- wearing all 3-6 or 6 month size clothing. Has little butt cellulite and it is way cuter on her than on me.

Sleeping habit - The past few days she has been going to bed about 7:30 and wakes up at 7am

Eating habits - the same- breastfeeding 6X a day

Cutest Moment of the Week - Oh my gosh, my mom got her a jumparoo for Christmas! We have to stack books under her because she is so little and her feet don't touch the floor yet, but there is no doubt she is ready for it. She had a blast in it yesterday. I hope to get a video of her up soon- its about the cutest thing ever!

Milestones - Being strong and steady headed enough to use a jumparoo- her first big toy

Firsts - Squeals with delight at daddy and mommy.

My Dear Madelyn:

We both cried a lot today. It was your first Christmas. Last night we spent the whole day in our house with your Grandma Martha and Aunt Emily and Uncle Daniel; Aunt Pam, and Uncle Allain; and your Grandma and Grandpa Steve joined us too. We had a wonderful time and you got a lot of gifts.

Today, the party continued and we spent Christmas Day at Grandma and Grandpa Lumsden's house. Great- Grandma Mary and Lee were there; as were Uncle Tom and Aunt Stephanie. You had a wonderful time, but you refused to take a nap. I think you didn't like to sleep in an unfamiliar area. Or maybe you were having too much fun. By 5:00pm you were exhausted and still couldn't sleep. You began to cry the kind of cry that makes your mom and dad really sad. So I took you in my arms to a dark quiet room and held and rocked you to sleep. You soon stopped crying and fell asleep peacefully on my chest.

Rather than set you down to sleep, I continued to hold you and rock you back and forth. I enjoyed it too much to set you down. It then occured to me that in just 4 days, I will be returning to my old job as a nurse. 3 days out of the week, I will be away from you for most of your waking hours during the day. The tears started coming, and they wouldn't stop. I went through ten tissues as I wept quietly at the reality of being away from you for so long. I thought about how I won't be able to hold you when you cry (if I'm at work). I thought about how some of our special nursing sessions will be replaced with a mechanical pump and plastic bottle; not you and I gazing at each other while you eat.

I cried like this for an hour. While I held you; we had switched places. Now I was the one crying and you were comforting me. Nothing felt better than to place my cheek against yours during this emotionally painful moment. Your dad came in and thought that something was wrong with you when he saw me crying so hard and holding you. As soon as I was able to express these feelings to him, I felt a little better. He told me that he will bring you to my work for me to feed you during my lunch break for the first few days. I am still sad about going back to work, but find so much comfort in knowing that your dad will be taking care of you. He loves you and I sooooo so much.

I realized that I may have been a little too emotional and dramatic about this. But no one ever could have prepared me for how much I love you. The past 3 months have been the most difficult, but even more joyous and rewarding than any other time in my life so far. I never in my life thought I would want to be a stay at home mom until the thought of being away from you brought this much pain to my heart. I know that I have to learn how to let go, because you will continue to grow up and I will have to say goodbye to you as you go to school and play with your friends. You will want to go to sleepovers; then eventually on dates. Then not too long after that you will leave home; and I will definitely have to let you go. I will probably cry this hard, if not harder.

I hope you always know how much your dad and I love you. I tell you every day, and I always will.

Conundrum

Email response from the gal who stood me up on a Craiglist meeting in which I was giving her 6 cloth diapers. She posted an ad on Craigslist asking for people to donate cloth diapers to her. We emailed back and fourth and decided on a meeting place at a Starbucks close to her home. I waited for 15 minutes before I had to leave for a doctor appointment. I left them with the kind people at Starbucks who were willing to let me leave a bag of diapers with them. I called and left her a phone message; then I emailed her and told her I left them there for her to pick up.


"I will go down there today! I hope they still has them. Sorry for not showing! I have so many things going on and no calender or or planner.I rememberd an hour to late. so so sorry. I'll let you know what happens."

To be honest I am really struggling with this. I need to remember that when I am doing a good deed, I need to not expect ANYTHING from the person who needs it. Its not for my satisfaction, but for the benefit of those who need it.

[my negative thoughts pour in] But I can't help but think that this is a very irresponsible person. If one is needy enough to ask for donations on Craigslist, then they better damn well show up to receive them. I feel as though she is such an irresponsible person, and that may be the reason she needs to ask for donations.

[Then I stop thinking that;realizing that I am not being loving as Jesus would be] And I think about how blessed I am to not be in her situation and how I NEED to reach out and love her; even though she may be irresponsible and stood me up. I do not know her pain and struggles.

Thoughts and emotional tug-of-wars like this occur in my mind all the time. I have a desire to help, but I feel like when I simply "give"; money, food, or objects; I get burned. Like when the "needy" man turned his nose up at the Thai food I offered him. Or when the man begging for bus fare ran into a mini-mart with the money I gave him to buy cigaretts.

I have no doubt that there are needy people out there, but I always seem to chose the wrong ones. Then again, maybe giving to them will set forth a necessary change in their hearts. I need to think this way so I don't be cynical about the importance of helping the needy.

No matter how difficult it may be, I can't forget how important it is for me to help others. I am too blessed on this earth to not share with those in poor life sitations. I need more stregnth and patience to do this.

12/13 weeks

oops! I skipped 12 weeks and so much has happened!

Age - 13 weeks

Weight - still don't know! is it bad that I don't really care?
i officially had to retire all her 0-3 month clothes and she is a happy little chunker- thats good enough for me :)
Height - see previous

Sleeping habit - still consistent; about 9pm to 8am; non stop. She hasn't woken up in the middle of the night since the day before Thanksgiving (knock on wood). Go Maddy, go!We are blessed.

Eating habits - usually eats @ 8am, 10:30ish, 1ish, 4ish, 6:30pmish, then 830 before bed. Breastfeeding only, still.

Cutest Moment of the Week - she has discovered "talking" in week 12 and talks up a storm now. Says "i-ee" when I say hi. Said "i-uh-ooo"; and we pretended she was saying "i love you"

Milestones - cooing "talking"

Firsts - rolls from back to side now (usually prefers her back). now she's all over the place. watch out!
'

seek advice, then just do what feels right

"Its psycologically damaging for babies to be left to cry!"

"You have to let babies cry it out- otherwise you will spoil them and they will manipulate you"

"Feed on demand"

"Feed on a schedule"

"Keep your baby awake all day, then they will sleep better at night"

"Babies need naps, then they will sleep better at night"

"Swings are for lazy moms. You should hold your baby all the time"

"Breast-fed babies shouldn't sleep longer than 5 hours without waking to feed"*


As a new parent, its easy to be persuaded by all the voices; and feel overwhelmed. Many well-meaning friends and relatives will quickly offer their opinion from their years of parenting wisdom, in an effort to help the new mommy. Books and parenting communities are even more opinionated and expressive. This new mommy used to take this advice, and then get extremely anxious if I didn't follow it correctly, or if it didn't work. I would think, "Oh my gosh, I have a colicky baby" and "I'm not a good mom".

I'm not getting down on the advice- I have actually received a lot of really great advice from people and books and am thankful for that. However, I have learned at everyone's experience is different, and what may have been right for one family is not necessarily right for another.

Here is what I have learned about Maddy- an extremely sweet and patient baby who was very sweet natured while Ross and I figured all this out:


*She NEEDS frequent naps during the day to be a happy baby. Very counter-intuitive, but effective

* A mixture of adequate naps and The Kiddopautomus SwaddleMe blanket (AKA cozy straight jacket for babies) was the key to her sleeping through the night (we went from 5 hours at a time to anywhere from 8-12 hours!

*At this point, there is no reason we should let her cry it out to go to sleep. As mentioned before, she sleeps through the night when held/rocked to sleep. Also, she doesn't cry very often. Sometimes it takes up to 30 minutes to soothe her to a deep sleep (last night it only took about 5 minutes), but it is worth it. I often catch her give a big smile as she drifts into her deep sleep, sometimes even accompanied with a giggle. That is definitly worth up to 30 minutes of my evening; especially if the result is a happy baby who sleeps through the night. She falls asleep with her mommy or daddy and sleeps all alone for 8-12 hours. Once she wakes up and needs us, we are there within a minute. Its a great mixture of independence and attachment.

*There are different cries. If she's just fussing, I let her fuss (unless its a hunger fuss or poopy diaper fuss). I usually figure out that its a "I just want you to hold me" fuss within a few minutes, and then will pick her up after a little bit. But I don't jump up everytime she lets out a whine.

*Sometimes, once she is soothed properly, I become too much of a distraction or stimulation. She doesn't need me to hold her 24/7- sometimes she needs to be in the swing or bouncer seat. I make a point to use the swing an average of once or less a day, but sometimes its what she needs. Hell, sometimes, its what I need!

*She latches and feeds way better than any other way with the side-lying hold. Then, football hold, THEN the most popular cradle hold.

*She seems happy sleeping in her crib at night. But once she wakes up and needs love/food (lately anywhere from 6am to 9am; usually 8am on the dot) she is in our bed with us. Mostly because I nurse her lying down and we just both fall back asleep that way! Also because I am too lazy to get up and put her back to sleep in her room. Thirdly, because I LOVE cuddling with her in the morning (I love my new freedom while she sleeps, but also miss her a little).

The most important thing I have learned lately is that Ross and I are doing a GREAT job parenting Maddy. She is so happy and knows she is loved. Our parenting style is a mixture of Dr. Sears' attachment parenting philisophy and more strict "Babywise" (Parent Directed/controlled) methods. Ask most attachment parenting proponents, and they will tell you that "Babywise" is evil.

But learning that our baby is happy and that we are doing a good job is WAY more important to learn than what Dr. Sears or some random mom on a parenting website says.

Listen to the wisdom of other moms (even though some can end up being toxic!). Then do what feels right and works for your baby, your husband, and yourself!

* I'm convinced this advice is only relevant to babies who aren't gaining weight steadily. I figured out my little girl eats 6 or more oz per feeding totalling approx. 36 oz a day which is well within the rec. range

Better Late than Never?

After following a friend's blog, I realized that I am NOT doing a good job documenting Maddy's milestones. I won't remember these things years down the road, so I am going to copy Alena's format and start documentin'!:

Age - Almost 11 weeks

Weight - oops, I don't know :) She was almost 11 lbs at her 2 month appt, and she has definitly started chunking out since then, so I'll guess 13 lbs

Height - She was 23" at said appt, but I know she is longer now. We even thought the nurse didn't measure her correctly, because she is one long baby!

Sleeping habit - 7 blissful nights in a row of sleeping 8-10 hours in a row, and in her own bedroom/crib! Usually goes to sleep between 9-10pm and wakes between 5-9am. If she stays swaddled, she sleeps longer, but she's outgrowing her current SwaddleMe. I DEFINITLY will buy a new one, since they seem to do the trick!

Eating habits - Still happily breast feeding, and we're so much better and more efficient at it these days. I now can simply slip a burp rag over my shoulder and NOT flash anyone while feeding her! Since sleeping through the night, she is consistenty taking 6 feedings in a 24 hour period. When I pump and feed, she appears to be eating 5-6 ounces per feeding.

Cutest Moment of the Week - HUGE flirty smiles. She's been smiling for a while now, but now she just charms anyone and everyone with her huge bright eyed gummy smiles. It makes me melt every time! And sometimes when she sneezes she yells, "Whaaaaaaaa!!!!-choo"

Milestones - really actually sleeping through the night w/o waking to feed 7 nights in a row. Sleeping in her own room.

Firsts - making more sounds with her little voice...and a new first for me? Getting 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep. Thats worth noting :)