Bad Good Dream

Last night or in the wee hours of this morning, I dreamt that Madelyn was about 2 years old. She was my little girl, only bigger, stronger, and with longer hair and more teeth. It was very interesting to see what my perception of what she may look like as an older baby. Anyway, I was just staring at this beautiful little girl, and I started sobbing. I held up the picture I have of her on my desk at work when she was 3 months old:

...and asked, "what happened to this baby girl???"

I even cried when I told Ross about it this morning. By the way, I'm also PMSing. This is the first time in my life since I was 16 years old that I haven't been on birth control pills (or pregnant, or not having periods cause of post partum/breastfeeding/etc). I am reminded exactly why Dr. McAndrew and my mom had me start the pill at the tender age of 16. I become a NUT CASE when that time of month rolls around. I think I have a hormone issue. Last night I was convinced my husband was an as* hole for turning on South Park so loud that I couldn't hear an old episode of The Hills playing on my lap top. Then I cried because I felt like a bad wife. Its craziness, I tell ya, craziness.

In all fairness, I had just worked a very busy half day, came home and cleaned, cooked dinner, put Maddy to bed, and was ready for MY "me time". Its hard to fit in "me time" when both parents work and care for the baby. We're working on it.

So I realize I digressed quite a little bit, so I will summarize and wrap up this post:

1) I should REALLY go back on the pill

2) Babies grow up too fast. Seriously. Cherish every single moment you have with them. Don't wish for them to grow up and stop relying on you so much, even though its tempting. I would give anything to go back in time to when Maddy was a screeching 2 week old refusing to sleep anywhere but on my chest. *sigh*...