PPD...or PPMD?

PMDD= Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Remember those Yasmin, or YAZ ads? Those three girls sitting at a night club, sipping cosmopolitans, and talking about PMDD and to ask your doctor about YAZ?

According to the Mayo Clinic website, PMDD can be described as, " a severe, sometimes disabling extension of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Although regular PMS and PMDD both have physical and emotional symptoms, PMDD causes extreme mood shifts that can disrupt your work and damage your relationships." (please visit the website for further information: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pmdd/AN01372 ).

 I was diagnosed with PMDD when I was 17 years old; and subsequently started taking oral contraceptives (Yasmin, actually). It really, really helped me. Fast forward to late 2008. I stopped taking the pill and we tried to get pregnant three months later; and I succeeded. We had a beautiful baby girl that September 2009.

2010 is a year that I honestly hardly remember. I was a miserable working mom with a miserable unemployed husband. I regret our cloudy attitudes about our situations that were out of our control, but thankfully in all the darkness, we had a great light: Madelyn. It was a very tough year that challenged our marriage, but we prevailed.

In 2011, Ross was among the employed again, and I was able to reduce my work schedule to part time. We had a better balance and felt ready to add another member to the family. I found out I was pregnant with Ezra in June. I exercised and ate better with this pregnancy; making it an over better year for me. Ezra was born in February 2012. I was blessed to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery and felt immediately bonded and energized within an hour after delivering my son. I remember spending the one night in the hospital after having him- I felt so comfortable and confident that I had Ross go home and sleep with Maddy. I felt so at peace; alone with my new baby, nursing without difficulty, and just feeling like every thing was as it should be. I was able to follow the desire of my heart and stay at home with my children; rather than return to work after 3 months.

About 4-5 months later, things started to get more difficult. This is about the time that Ezra stopped being "Easy Ezzie", and started waking a lot at night. It should be noted that my period came back five months post partum despite breastfeeding on demand; precisely as it did with Madelyn. It was around this time that I started to notice more difficult periods where I would completely lose my temper with Maddy and Ross. With Madelyn, everyone assured me that the "Terrible Three's" were really worse than the "Terrible Two's".  I experienced moments of near loss of control anger, yelling at my daughter to take a nap and then stomping into my room, slamming the door, and throwing a shoe and/or scream into a pillow. Shortly after I would feel guilty and like I was a horrible mother. I confided in friends, who were very supportive and assured me that it was okay and agreed to pray for me. I would semi-jokingly say to others, "I sometimes feel like I have symptoms of post partum depression, but directed toward Maddy and not Ezra". I actually really did question whether or not I had PPD...but only at moments. I really didn't feel like I had PPD because I didn't really match the bullet points listed as symptoms. I relished in being a mother and caring for my newborn/infant. It was only brief periods that I would lose it.

It wasn't until one evening when I completely lashed out at Ross. He agreed to take the baby monitor while he stayed up playing video games so I could sleep. I was exhausted. 30 minutes after falling asleep, I heard Ezra crying. The crying escalated, and 5 minutes later, Ross had still not made his way up to comfort him. As it turns out, Ross had made a mistake and had the monitor on the wrong channel, and couldn't hear the cries from out in the man cave. I did not care about this mistake. I was so completely fuming with rage that I gave him a completely scary verbal beating. I stomped away wondering, "How did I ever marry such a complete ass hole? He is so selfish. He obviously doesn't care about me one bit". Through my cloud of rage, however, I also thought, "Why am I thinking this? This man is my dream guy and our relationship is so amazing most of the time. We are so happy and compatible. Why do I feel this way?". The next morning, through tears, I apologized to my husband and he lovingly forgave me (and also apologized for his mistake).

I don't remember when the light bulb "aha!" moment came, but I started to piece together that this was happening when I was pre-menstrual. I started delicately charting my symptoms on an app called "My Calendar", which I had already used in the past to track fertility for conception AND contraceptive purposes. I concurrently had cut wheat and most dairy from my diet for other issues I was having. I began exercising more regularly at least 3-4 times a week instead of sporadically.  I began to see an improvement and continued with that lifestyle. I communicate to Ross when I start to feel that dark cloud and he knows to have a bit more patience and grace.

Now fast forward to today. Just as a brief interval history, Ezra is currently dealing with RSV bronchiolitis which require nebulizer treatments three times a day. The fear of hospitalization from pneumonia sits on my shoulders (see also: I have irrational anxiety problems... ;) It is March 22nd, and our family has been sick non-stop since the second week in December. I try not to complain and be grateful for our blessings, and have been praising God as often as I can. But today, I was trying to get a sick, fussy, and hyper Ezra down for his nap when I heard Madelyn yelling at me to get her a snack and causing trouble in the next room. I looked down at my gargling baby as he kicked and bucked in my arms and said,

 "That's it! I JUST CAN'T DO IT!".

I set Ez in his crib, knowing well that he would start screaming, and went into that room of mine and shut the door and began to cry. Even as I continued to say "I can't do it", I knew that I had to. Even though I was in a very weak moment, I knew giving up wasn't an option and that somewhere in there I had the strength to get through it. I immediately texted five of my prayer warrior friends and shared my frustration and asked them to pray. Their quick, overwhelming responses immediately lifted me up. I took a deep breath and returned to my boy's room and rocked him to sleep successfully. I took another deep breath. I went downstairs and hugged my daughter; explaining to her that I was really sad that Ezra was sick, and that she is a really good girl. We made cookies together while Ezra slept.

I got onto the "My Calendar" app and discovered I am due to start my period in four days. I looked back as far as October when I started charting and sure enough; I had documented instances of loss of power/frustration...ALWAYS 4-5 days before the start of my cycle. It always lasts 1 day and one day only. And it seems to come on like clock work. If I am aware and anticipate this day, it is usually not a problem. I tend to crave sugar, wheat, and making that glass of wine a little extra full around that time, and if I avoid giving into that temptation then I usually can get through the month without an episode. I was not paying attention and impulsively ate pasta 2 days ago; and had a big glass of wine after a stressful day at work yesterday. It's amazing how it is easier to read and understand your own body when you cut out or limit most of the crap.

Alright...I am off to go on a therapeutic 4-5 mile run now. My kids have been patiently hanging out and now its time to go out and get some fresh air. I know it may seem in some ways that I have overdramatized losing my temper with the kids, but in my heart I know that I don't want to yell at them. Even though she can be a total brat (lets me honest), Maddy IS only 3 and needs more love and compassion than I sometimes think. I also find it extremely important to be the loving wife that Ross needs and deserves. I just want to be my best self and will strive toward anything that can help me accomplish that. Thank you for reading.

Disclaimer: I am pouring out my deepest, darkest moments in this post. I always, ALWAYS maintained safety for both of my children and never lost control enough to harm either of them (thus, why I described walking away so often). I am also not asking for referrals or crying out for help. I have an amazing support system with this and feel comfortable in my treatment plan. I have taken antidepressants in the past, and if it ever came down to it, I would take them again if I felt it were best for me and my family. I am sharing my story in hopes that it may find someone who can identify with what I am going through and not feel alone. I am obviously a little vulnerable about sharing this, but I feel so strongly that God allows us to go through trials so that we can minister to others.

Cinderella

Madelyn-
We got you the Disney movie Cinderella for Christmas this year. I admit to being just as excited about getting to watch it with you as I was about you enjoying it. As soon as you saw this movie once; it quickly became something you have wanted to watch daily (much to my delight). In fact, Cinderella kept you entertained and delighted when daddy's car broke down last week and we had to drive him to and from Canby. You like to quote it on a regular basis; your favorite saying being, "Oh that clock! Time to get up, you say;  time to start the day. Even he bosses me around!".

I watch this movie now with a whole new perspective than I had when I was a little girl your age. I couldn't help but notice how Cinderella and her prince fall in love after dancing together one night; and how they married soon after. The movie doesn't show them dating. It doesn't show them arguing or questioning things; it was just so simple. Once reunited, they lived happily ever after. For a moment, I had a bit of concern that you were watching this movie over and over and that this would be your perspective on love and finding the man you will marry. But I quickly changed my mind and decided this:

Madelyn, you deserve nothing less than your prince charming and your own fairy tale. You just need to take it with a grain of salt, because its a little more complicated than Cinderella's story. As your mom, I will explain to you how I hope you will find love.

Find a man who makes you feel nervous and comfortable at the same time. A man who gives you butterflies; yet you could talk to for hours and feel like you could tell him everything. And in return, he would listen to you and be captivated that a girl as outwardly beautiful as you could be so smart, kind, and funny. He would appreciate you for everything that you are- just amazing.

Also keep in mind that butterflies alone don't make a lasting love; make sure he is your best friend. Make sure you have plenty in common- not everything, as you should have your own hobbies to enjoy and other things that make you each individuals-but enough to share plenty of laughs and wonderful memories together along your journey.

He would be a really good man who loves his family and treats his parents well. He would love the Lord; and be a spiritual leader in the family for you and your future children. He would make you and your children his top prioroty and would work hard to support you.

Maddy, he won't be perfect. He will have his flaws. He will be weak at times. He will get angry at you, and you at him. You and he will fight from time to time (sometimes it may feel like all the time). But both of your bottom line will be that you both love and have comitted to each other.  Though you might get mad at each other, he would never EVER hit you or physically harm you in any way. He would never call you names or make you feel inadequate or that you're not wonderful; because you are.

Honey, your job in this fairy tale, is to be a strong, supportive, and loving wife. You will love and respect your prince.  You will learn how to swallow your pride and keep your stubborn mouth shut, even when you feel like you're right and he is wrong.  When times get tough and you feel unappreciated; take a step back and look at everything he does for you (and your future children). Life isn't always easy, and a true love and committment to each other and to God will carry you through any tough time you encounter (emphasis on God and committment- trust me on this one!).

Sweet Pea, your current Prince Charming (daddy) and I love you so much. I hope you read this one day and know just how valuable and amazingly precious you are. Don't ever sell yourself short.

"...if you keep on believing- the dreams that you wish will come true"

not to worry.

It's amazing how the events in our lives shape us and impact us. Especially events early on; during those vital young days where we are being shaped into the adults we are today.

Rewind: Maddy and Ezra were both pretty sick the week before Christmas. They both recovered, but Maddy seems to have a lingering low-grade fever that we can't quite explain. She mostly acts the same and is an active and healthy young girl, but as her worried mother I notice every little difference. She's quicker to have melt downs. She is napping about 1-2 times a week instead of NEVER. But she's eating, drinking, peeing, pooping. She's not coughing, sneezing, or oozing or complaining of pain.

Since we're at 3 weeks now of 99.5-100.4 degree temp, we visited her pediatrician today. He completed her exam without noting any abnormalities and explained, "Meh- sometimes kids just run a bit warmer than usual" (pardon my language, but that's bullsh*t). He suggested we have blood drawn if this persists or any new symptoms arise; such as night sweats, complaints of bone pain, weight loss, appetite loss.

Maybe its the worrier in me; maybe its the oncology nurse in me; but I couldn't help but worry about cancer. I stiffed the "worried anxious wreck mother" Amy,  and put on my "logical, calm, respectful" Amy face and followed his instructions and we went home. I mean, she is mostly normal. Aside from the temp. And the behavior. And this nagging feeling that something about my delightful little girl is just...off.  And my knowledge of symptoms of leukocytosis and common childhood malignancies nags and nags.

Ross and I had a very tense and serious discussion about this tonight. He was trying to be supportive, but also was getting a bit panicked and upset at me for even bringing the thought of cancer into the picture. Of course its always a possibility, but realistically the chances are very slim. I tried to explain that as an oncology nurse I probably was just able to read between the lines a bit more as he explained what kind of testing he wanted to do...and how he could never understand how much a mother worries about her children. As soon as that baby is conceived, the mother wants nothing more than to protect her baby. She will ALWAYS worry about him or her; and it was normal for me to worry about this, right? And then it hit me. I had to say it out loud:

"When I was sixteen, my dad became ill one day. He went to the hospital and had extensive testing done. They sent him home, telling him it was the flu; indigestion. The next morning; he died."

Every mother worries; but not like I do.

The experience of losing a loved one seemingly without warning has magnified how fragile life is. Since losing my dad; every time I have fallen in love, I have deeply feared losing that person. With Maddy and Ezra; its like 100000000000x as much. To make matters worse, my medical training and experience gives me enough   information to give me more to worry about.

As I wrap up this dismal post; I will finally mention hope. When my dad died; we survived. I became a stronger young woman. I am able to cope with death and minister to others who struggle with even beginning to fathom losing a loved one. Furthermore; I believe that Heaven is mine and my loved ones' final resting place and our spirits will be reunited in paradise one day. And it will be so beautiful that there should be nothing to fear.

I know in my heart that Maddy is fine. We have decided to have her blood drawn and tested on Monday so we can have peace of mind.

A Close Call

Yesterday was Ross's last day off before starting his new job. We decided to pack up the kids and head down to the nearby mall to get coffee and finish up some Christmas shopping. As usual, any outing with kids is a big production and multiple stops to eat, clean, potty, and play turned it into a three hour excursion. The shoppers seemed crabby and the kids were becoming that as well; so we purchased what we were able to find for our loved ones (including Christmas PJ's for the kiddies) and headed on home. It was 2:57pm when I looked at my phone as Ross started up the car to head home.

We had to stop at the gas station on 82nd Drive and we heard and saw sirens heading up I-205 like crazy. "Something big must have happened, there's cops and ambulances going crazy out there..." Ross said as he got back into the car.

When we walked in the door, both of our phones were ringing and text alarming like crazy. I looked down and had 3 missed calls. Ross turned on the news as I answered the phone call from my brother in law checking in to make sure we weren't at Clackamas Town Center, as there had been a shooting and the killer had not been found yet. I stood there in shock and began to tremble. After beginning to process these facts; most importantly the fact that we were home safe and unharmed; I started making calls and texts to our immediate family and let them know we were safe. I called my friend who had sent me two texts and frantically called twice. I texted my friend who works at the mall and found out that she was safe and had left just before the shooting as well. They say the shooting happened around 3:20pm; less than 30 minutes after we left.

I have been impacted tremendously by this in two major ways; one positive and one negative:

Positive:  I am so profoundly thankful to God for protecting my family and I yesterday; as well as two of my friends who happened to be there at the same time we were. There is no coincidence. We had already stayed out past the kid's nap times and we easily could have gone up to the food court to feed our cranky kids (the shooting occurred in the food court). We just decided we had been there long enough.
This incident is a great reminder and lesson for me that God is (in fact) in ultimate control! As much as I would like to think I am the one in charge of my family's safety; He is. Besides; it was my decision to go to the mall yesterday. I am admittedly a control freak and constantly worry about things like my kids getting sick or getting in a car accident if someone else is driving them. I am the ones who took my babies to a mall that was about to become a crime scene, but our Lord protected us and lead us home just in time. Wow.

Negative: Paradoxically, I am now more fearful of being in big public places. Since the attack on 9/11/01, I have been mildly afraid to be in airports, convention centers, and other large places full of people. It didn't stop me from going; but it would linger on my mind when going into those places. As of now; I am not sure when I will feel comfortable stepping into large stores or events with my children. I would go alone, but not with the babes.
This SO contradicts my first point, because I know that if I truly trusted Jesus, then I would not be afraid. I was supposed to go to the same mall on Friday to have Santa pictures taken with the kids, but I just don't know if I can. Ross, who is sometimes just annoyingly wise and faithful, said that we absolutely go. He said he would hate to see businesses and families suffer more than they already will; and that I should have faith that God is protecting our family. Not only is he right, but logically the odds of there being ANOTHER shooting there are pretty much nonexistent. We will see.

Are you going shopping in any malls soon after what happened at Clackamas Town Center yesterday?

Bullies.

We watched The Christmas Story last night. It made me think about bullies of the past and present. When we were kids, we might think of a bully looking something like this:

source:http://thr4.pgmcdn.net/sites/default/files/imagecache/thumbnail_570x321/2012/01/zack_ward_as_scut_farkus_2012_h.jpg

As we got into our teen years, many girls would say their bully looks something like this:

As an almost thirty year old woman; This is what my bully looks like this:

I'm sure this woman is very lovely and I have no idea who she is; I just Googled "Middle Aged Woman". Source: http://blogs.ktk985.com/files/2010/05/middle-aged-woman.jpg

How funny is it that past our childhood years; bullies of women are typically women; and how they change form over the years. Its no longer the prettiest and most successful that are mean to their peers; nor is it the troubled; misguided person who has lived a rough life. In my experience; it is the typical mom-next-door.

Whether its the friend who makes subtle, sugar coated snide comments about her child being better than yours, the internet troll who makes up fake screen names and signs on to your blog to call you and your family ugly (never happened to me, but it has to my peers), or the woman at work who gossips with your co workers about her fabricated and embellished version of things that you did or said.

I have always been a timid person. Confrontation and I just don't mix very well. At ALL. When I have been bullied as an adult (see examples given above); I am often blind sided by it and don't realize the impact of that person's words until later on. Then I would stew and think about it; getting all worked up; until I would talk to a friend or my husband about it. Then I would hold on to it for way too long. If I did finally work up the effort to confront the person I felt bullied by; by that point I would be overly worked up and emotional and it would not go well.

Well, I decided to change that.

Yesterday I was in a crowded Zumba class at the gym, trying to enjoy my hour of sweat and not-care-about-the-world time. Two middle aged women (friends) were in front of me; choosing to take the front of class spot (I'm not a front row-er; tend to do second or third row.) It was clear that the woman closer to me was not keeping up well, and she kept backing up more and more and more...almost running into me several times and closing me out. I know that she saw me, and It started to get to the point where I was wondering if she was doing it intentionally. But I just kept moving and assuming the best of intent.  Since it got to the point where I was on the verge of now bumping into the nice woman behind me, I saw a big open space in front of the two women and went for it. "Ah, there" I thought. Now there's room for everyone! Then I felt someone tap my shoulder. It was Mrs. Uncoordinated:

"Um, I THINK you want to be back there". [pointing to my former spot].

Without batting a lash, I looked right at her and responded, "Yes, I did want to be back there, but you kept running into me so I had no where else to go. Can we just enjoy the class?".

She didn't say a word; just walked back to her spot; leaving ample room for me this time.

Bullies of the world: 57 Amy: 1

If you are a timid one like me, I encourage you to make the choice to stand up for yourself in these situations. Sure, a dance room scuffle might seem like a ridiculously tiny thing; but it wasn't about having a spot to dance. It was about kindly and confidently demonstrating to  someone that they were being silly and just cannot disrespect me like that.

It pains me that internet bullying has created a death toll that is just too high (as in, anything greater than zero is just. too. high.). Internet bullying takes things to an all new low; in that you don't even have to look the person in the eye while eating away at their self esteem and worth. When I was a little girl and someone was mean to me at school, my mom would say:

"They are probably mean to you at school because someone is being mean to them at home."- wise words from Martha Minty; my beautiful mother.

We can even apply this to adulthood as well:
-They are being mean to you because they are dissatisfied with themselves
-They are being mean to you because they want what you have (jealousy)
-They are being mean to you because someone was being very mean to them and they have to direct their anger somewhere
-They are being mean to you because they are bored and misguided.

No one who is completely blessed, happy, and grateful for their lives has any reason to display this kind of behavior. The best thing I think I can do would be to pray for those people, and treat them with kindness while still respecting myself and my friends or family (I have done this ONE time now, LOL. So this is not a preachy high horse message).

How do you deal with bullies?

A Brief Catching Up

I am hoping to get more and more away from the bookFace and document more of my life on here. While I love posting a little snippet of my life and getting a little conversation going; I just have found that it takes too much extra little time out of my day. Also I am a total hypocrite and have kind of become one of those people who posts NOTHING but stuffs about their kiddlets. I personally don't have a problem with that, but   I would rather be writing something more worthwhile that has longevity that I can reference when I FINALLY decide to make those baby books than sharing Ezra cutting his first tooth with 251 of my closest strangers and acquaintances. One before the other; and I figure anyone who actually thinks I have anything relevant to say will read my blog.

Okay...but the truth is I just have to share with someone other than my immediate friends and family some exciting news. We are on pins and needles because Ross had a second job interview with a company yesterday. He met with the VP, had a tour of the place, and his interview took over 1.5 hours. I think that's a good sign, but nothing is for sure until we get that offer. We have been through this before and have been disappointed before; so we are just waiting faithfully. Lord; my husband has gone through 7 years of job instability and dissatisfaction (3 of those years he was unemployed). We would really love for him to have this job.

I also am in talks with my previous employer. They want me back (Cue N'SYNC's "I Want You Back") and  I want them back; so we are negotiating a one day/week gig- something they said they couldn't do 10 months ago. Stay tuned for that as well. ("You're all I ever wanted...you're all I ever neeeeeded...Yeeaaaah....").I love being a stay at home mom, but my degree/licence is an important thing for me to keep and honor for when the kids grow up or if we need me to step up to the plate (financially) again. Also? I'd like us to stop stressing about money and I have college funds and some overdue shopping trips on the brain [lets be honest]. Either way; I got to stay home with my baby for his first year of life. Thank You Lord. I think Maddy would have preferred I went to work, but our relationship has been through a lot (ultimately positive) this past year. But that's a whole post in itself. 

EZRA. 

Oh my goodness. My son. My sweet boy is 9.5 months old and is learning how to walk now. He walks holding on to furniture and with his little push toys (or a chair, or step stool, anything he can get his chubby little hands on). He cut his first tooth on Thanksgiving day (L. bottom middle incisor), and he is in the process of cutting his second one (the right side counterpart). He takes two solid naps a day (1 hour at 9ish and 2-3 hours at 2ish) and likes to go to bed right at 7pm. He is so unlike his sister- in that he KNOWS when he needs to sleep and has no problem accepting it and going to bed. 

While I love him to death,  he is kind of a whiney little mama's boy [secretly love it]. He is devilishly handsome with golden blond hair and big blue eyes. he is above the 100th percentile for height and about 50-75th for weight as of his 6 month visit (oops, just realized we are late for the 9 monther). He wakes up at night (again, unlike his sister- who fights sleep to the death but then is comatose for 12 hours straight).

MADDY

Look out world. This little girl is ahead of her class, according to her teachers; and she was technically not even supposed to start preschool this year since she didn't turn 3 until 9/19. We are so proud of her abilities, but with these abilities come more challenges to the parents. She has an iron will and I am learning how to handle that gracefully. As I mentioned in my previous post we had a very dark month where I just did not have the patience and strength to deal with her arguing and fighting. I made a huge mistake and fought her when I should have just been a loving parent and given her simple cause and effect/ behavior and consequences. I have learned SO much, and we are still working on it. I of course am too hard on myself and worry that our fights will affect our relationship for life. Then she hugs me tight, kisses me on the lips and says, "I love you SOOOO much, mama", and I know we will be fine.

Okay, Ezra's awake. Back to the daily grind and waiting to hear about jobs!

"I Hear You..."

(http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi02ZDE0ODQ4ZDViZTI3ZmQx)

What do you think when you read this? What is the tone, the message, and the intent? Working moms everywhere are pinning this, "liking", and "sharing" this on Facebook. To me; the message is, "Yeah! How can stay at home moms complain!?! They have SO much time on their hands. I do everything they do but I work." Am I fabricating this, or am I right? Okay, well I know I'm right. Because a little over a year ago I would have said the same thing. Maybe, if I was feeling particularly bitter, I would even share this photo. Even from a former working mother's prospective; its hard to look at this card as anything other than condescending. Which is why it really bums me out that women everywhere are posting this.

These days: I am eating big fat slices of humble pie in regards to ever thinking SAHM's have it easy. The truth is that I hated being a working mom and despised the fact that I had to leave my daughter while someone else cared for her during the day. I hated pumping and washing pump parts. I hated scrambling to find childcare if someone was sick and feeling the stress that my manager would be irritated if I called in sick because either myself, my daughter, or my babysitter were all sick at one point in the course of 2 weeks. I was sick with guilt when someone scratched my daughter all over her face at day care, and then screamed/sobbed hysterically when I dropped her off there the next day. (wait, she sobbed, or I sobbed? yeah, we both did). I resented the fact that I had to earn enough income to keep our health benefits and house payment. I realize that not every working mom feels this way; but I did. (praises to working moms who are way stronger and step up to the plate more gracefully than I did). And for these reasons I resented SAHM's because they had what I wanted. As I contemplated the possibility that I might have to go back to work after having my son and leave both him and my daughter, it got to the point where I almost cried every time a friend of mine discussed their plans and days staying home with their children. So YES. I would be quite bitter if I was unhappily trudging into work 3-5 days a week and some mom on Facebook posted pictures of her and her kids baking muffins, gluing glitter onto construction paper; and then complaining about the laundry never ending. Would it be her fault that I felt so bad? Absolutely not. It would be my own issues with feeling bad about my situation; so I would find a way to bring that woman down to make myself feel better. (why do we do this to each other. WHY?) Anyway, that's my guess as to how this meme was born.

Now lets dissect the other side of this E-Post card; not the warrior working mom, but that lazy, privileged whining SAHM. Here are just the facts that often aren't acknowledged:

1) Unless you have a full time house keeper and personal chef;  if you stay at home with your kids, you will be preparing, feeding, and cleaning up after 3 meals and day plus snacks. And don't snicker; day in and day out is is a LOT of work. If we happen to eat a hot dog at Costco one day, I come home and feel kind of amazed that I don't have to go through the motion of feeding a 3 y/o and 9 month old; The arguing over what she will and won't eat, Ezra throwing his food and getting it everywhere, cleaning the high chair and sweeping and mopping after every meal. Don't underestimate.
2) If your spouse is working full time or more and you stay at home; it is likely there will not be a division of the house chores. Laundry, dishes (which there will be ton of since you are cooking and eating at home), cleaning (when your kids stay home instead of going to day care, your house is only clean within a 2 minute window after cleaning it or when they are asleep), pet care, bathrooms....its all you, mama.
3) Believe it or not; kids don't play happily by themselves confined to one little corner in your house; coming out only for water and potty breaks. They need to be entertained and socialized n' sh*t. Playdates, dance lessons, children's museum, library, etc. will keep any mom away from her pampering session at home while painting her fingernails while kids play in the aforementioned corner (or whatever it is SAHM's allegedly do with all their spare time). Now the truth is; if you get a buddy involved this can be quite fun for mommy, too. But then again, one could find a lot of fun social relationships while at work, too.
4) $$$ to $. We cut out household income in half when we chose to have me stay at home and raise our babies. There are no pedicures, cocktails with the girls, extravagant date nights, and shopping sprees. This isn't every mom's situation, but I know it is many. When I worked, I got to enjoy those extra perks from time to time. The reduced dollah signs also means that mama has to be creative, frugal, and diligent in the kitchen. No more yummy pre-assembled pasta dishes from the store, no more, "I feel like Thai tonight"; no more, "I think I'll pick up a pizza on the way home from work!". (Again- not everyone's situation but I know that its that of many).
5) Take a day when one or both of the kids doesn't nap and/or is feeling particularly cranky. Now take that day and consider that there may be 5 days in a row JUST.LIKE.THAT. One particularly difficult month when Maddy was in her terrible twos, I cried almost every day as she gave up her naps all together. Being a working mom was HARD, but I never found myself in such a dark place as I was when I was freshly postpartum with a sassy young lady testing every boundary possible. (in other words- its not for the faint of heart. There was a lot of growth happening that month!).

Okay, so have I spelled it out enough? Am I overreacting? [maybe]. I find myself defending both working and stay at home moms, when we really should just support each other. Or, what if we just didn't give a crap either way? You stay at home? Great. You work? Great. Just say no to smug little eCards. Opinions are fine...but maybe we should examine why we feel that way before putting it out into the world. [like I just did ;)]