Taking a sick day to recover from my "vacation"

Life: I called my manager and told her I would not be making it in to work tomorrow. Usually, I would have to be bed-ridden to call in sick (using the ridiculous rationale that if I can walk, I can work) but I called my co-worker to find out what patients were coming in tomorrow. She read off a list that included very frail people, including those I knew would be immunocompromised. My throat feels like I swallowed nails; or rather in such a way that I wish I could swallow nails to scratch the constant burning and itchiness; but instead I keep clearing my throat (like my mom- "eeeggghh-mm!" except about 30 times more than she does. I'm surpised Ross hasn't killed me yet). And I can't stand up for more than 5 minutes without having to sit or lean against something because I get too dizzy. I was hoping it was a day full of simple lab draws and iron infusions, and I could wear a mask and call it good. But there's no way in hell I'm subjecting my sick and frail patients to the nasty bug that has plagued my hosue. So I kicked that over achieving/anxious about looking like a slacker /crazy mentality to the curb and called in sick. I deserve a pat on the back for that one. Every day I am conciously making decisions to relax and cut myself a little slack.

Madelyn is getting better. This morning was rough; she wouldn't eat very much or take a bottle from Ross (who let me sleep in until 11am), and then just as he put her down for a morning nap, she got into a coughing fit and BARFED IT ALL UP. We got her cleaned up and she drank an 8 oz bottle from me. Its so cute how she has become such a mama's girl since she's been sick. After cuddling and feeding her, I set her in her crib for a nap. About that time, her pediatrician called us to check in. This was SUPER nice. Either he's a really great doctor who really cares, or his nurses begged him to call me since I have been bugging the crap out of them for the past 6 days. Hmm, nice move, peds nurses. I use that one myself. Its quite effective, yes? Dr. Stoeber confirmed that Mad's chest X-ray was normal, and seemed a little concerned that she was still coughing. He wants to test her for Whooping Cough on Wednesday if she doesn't improve. Whoop, whoop! Hopefully she's all better by then so we don't have to have any unnecessary and possibly traumatic tests.

I have been too sick to care about my messy house, and in a way that has been liberating. I am learning that life can go on if there are a few dirty dishes in the sink before I go to bed. We may have survived Madelyn's first real illness, and I have come out on the other side with the wisdom that she will be okay. I don't have to worry 24/7 if she will be alright, because we take good care of her and she will be alright. Every day, since I realized I am too anxious, things have gotten a little better.

Now on to milestones:

MK- 9 days away from her 11 month birthday (what the crap??!?!?!?!)

-Still cruises while holding on to furniture (or people- she LOVES grabbing on to my or Ross's legs and putting her head in between our knees). She is a very cautious little girl. She does not like me to encourage her to stand on her own. She can tell I am about to let go of her hands and she gets this really freaked out look, like "whoa whoa whoa! Mom, what are you doing??! I don't stand alone yet!", and gently bends her knees and intentionally and carefully lowers herself to the floor and sits or crawls. She will walk like crazy if I give her her Alligator push toy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MVcA_sTzio

Its not like I want her to grow up and walk yet, but I know she CAN, and want her to have the confidence to go ahead and try it without being afraid to fall. Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but I can see her being super cautious and it reminds me of ME. Cautious is good, but overly cautious means you sometimes don't even have the confidence to put yourself out there and really shine, when you have such great abilities to. I think parents always want their kids to have things better than they did. Even though I think I turned out alright, I just don't want my downfalls to be passed on to my little girl. I have a pretty good singing voice, but I will never sing in front of people unless I've had at least 2 drinks and am doing karaoke. I don't ever want her to be afraid to see what she can really accomplish.

Now to be a little more light hearted on a Monday night....

Beauty: I got my nails "shellacked" on Saturday and they are looking fab. "Shellack" is something I'm not quite sure I am spelling right and am too lazy to Google it. Essentially, it is a nail polish/top coat where you have to put your hands under a UV light to harden it; and then it doesn't chip for at least 2-4 weeks. It dries/hardens instantly, which is perfect for the accident-prone such as myself. Also nice for nurses and mommies who dirty their hands quite often. At $15 for a color change (assuming I would only have to do that once a month?) it seemed like a worthy splurge to make me feel purty. I have never been able to do regular mani's and pedi's because they just didn't feel cost effective to me. We'll see how this goes.

Efficient Living: On those nice sunny days we had last week, I dried ALL my laundry on the line outside. Not just diapers anymore; but towels, sheets, jeans, underwear, etc. It was really nice, and it forced this busy working mom to get outside and enjoy the sun while being productive. PLUS, not running the drier all day (I did 4 loads) kept my house cooler, so I didn't have to run the AC. I can't think of a better way to save power and get Vitamin D. And my sheets have never smelled better! Madelyn was napping, but if she were awake, I would just put her in the Pack n Play with some toys while I hung laundry. It made one of my stay-at-home-mom days a little nicer, since I tend to use my stay at home days in the house cleaning (tsk tsk tsk).